Apryl Brignac

Mommy DVR

2010-08-26T06:50:00.001-05:00

Mark 15:3 "He answered nothing..."

I think someone needs to invent a Mommy-DVR that can attach on your label like a broach or hang around your neck like a necklace. Of course, it would have to be completely fabulous, go with every outfit and come at the low, low price of $19.95...but, I would totally buy it! Wouldn't you? Just to save you one less, "What did I say?" or "If I have to repeat myself one more time, we are going to have some issues in this house!" Oooh! And it could work on hubby's too! Wouldn't be amazing? Ahhhhh! Calgon, take me away! I can't tell you how many times a day I have to either repeat what I'm saying or instructions that I'm giving because I must just sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown at this point to my family. I even make lists that have to repeat themselves! haha One of my favorites (I'm being sarcastic) is when they ask me a question that I've already given them the answer to. What they really want is a different answer. It's like when I give them a, "Yes, but not right now.", "Yes, but after you finish your homework" or "I'm not sure yet, we'll see how you do this week in school." None of these are "no" answers, just not the immediate responses that they are looking for. But it is my job as their mother to help them manage their time and resources, to see their whole day, week, know things that they do not know and protect them from what isn't good for them. Can you see how a "Mommy-DVR" would be helpful? Every time they come up to ask the same question that I have answered for them 20 million times before, they could be self sufficient and just press the ""Mommy-DVR" while I go about my business.

Have you ever felt that way with God? Have you been feeling like you're prayers just aren't being answered? You are reading all these promises in Scripture and everyone is telling you what you should and shouldn't be feeling and believing but somehow....you need GOD-DVR! We often relate to God on human terms so that we can put our heads around Him...because in reality He is incomprehensible, yet chooses to reveal Himself to man. Even though we must be careful in doing this, it's our way of trying to relate to God, understand Him. He loves that about us and rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Jesus was speaking to a crowd once where it seemed He needed His GOD-DVR that day. He related this same parallel of parenting in Matthew 7:7-11:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Now let's be honest here. How many of you have ask, sought and knocked til the door came off it's hinges and.....nothin'? Does that mean that Jesus was lying to us or promising something that He couldn't fulfill? Absolutely not! What it means is this...God is our Heavenly Father. Like us He knows things about our future, our past, our now's that we don't know. It's His job to help us manage our lives when we make Him Lord over it. I've found that the answers with God, like with my own kids, are usually either Yes, No, Yes-but not now. A couple of verses that have helped me in "swallowing the pill" of the waiting or acceptance of the no's in my life have been:

Ps 139

¹You have looked deep

into my heart, LORD,

and you know all about me.

²You know when I am resting

or when I am working,

and from heaven

you discover my thoughts.

³You notice everything I do

and everywhere I go.

⁴Before I even speak a word,

you know what I will say,

⁵and with your powerful arm

you protect me

from every side.

⁶I can't understand all of this!

Such wonderful knowledge

is far above me....

¹³You are the one

who put me together

inside my mother's body,

¹⁴and I praise you

because of

the wonderful way

you created me.

Everything you do is marvelous!

Of this I have no doubt.

¹⁵Nothing about me

is hidden from you!

I was secretly woven together

deep in the earth below,

¹⁶but with your own eyes

you saw

my body being formed.

Even before I was born,

you had written in your book

everything I would do.

¹⁷Your thoughts are far beyond

my understanding,

much more than I

could ever imagine.

¹⁸I try to count your thoughts,

but they outnumber the grains

of sand on the beach.

And when I awake,

I will find you nearby.

You see, when we begin to get to know God for the Heavenly Father that He is, we can truly begin to trust His plans for our life and therefore walk in His ways, even when it's a "hard pill to swallow". We know that those "Yes, but not now's" can be waited on with divine authority....wait...what? Divine authority? Whatchu talkin bout Willis?

Before we look at our main passage of scripture, let's check out an earlier scene from Jesus' life. Here he is all but 12 years old, yet with the maturity, the scripture says...well, more than I have most the time...you'll see in a minute...

Luke 2

⁴¹Every year Jesus' parents went to Jerusalem for Passover. ⁴²And when Jesus was twelve years old, they all went there as usual for the celebration. ⁴³After Passover his parents left, but they did not know that Jesus had stayed on in the city. ⁴⁴They thought he was traveling with some other people, and they went a whole day before they started looking for him. ⁴⁵When they could not find him with their relatives and friends, they went back to Jerusalem and started looking for him there.

⁴⁶Three days later they found Jesus sitting in the temple, listening to the teachers and asking them questions. ⁴⁷Everyone who heard him was surprised at how much he knew and at the answers he gave.

What amazed me here more than the exercise of knowledge was the exercise of restraint. Remember, Jesus was fully God and fully man. Can you imagine what this little 12 yr old was thinking as he listened to these "scholars"? Yet, it says that they found him "asking questions". Imagine what the Son of God felt. He knew who He was. Listen to verse 49 after his mom asked him why he'd stayed at the temple and not come with her and his father, Joseph? Jesus quickly reminds Mary and Joseph to whom He belongs:

⁴⁹Jesus answered, "Why did you have to look for me? Didn't you know that I would be in my Father's house?"

Imagine the restraint as the Son of God had to pass the blind, the lame and the poor on His way to the temple. He could have just spoke...with just one touch...His stinkin shadow could have healed....but yet....His days were written....so He spoke not a word, but He knew who He was and He would return for them. I want to challenge you. Start looking at the miracles of Jesus and even the apostles that were performed around the temple. Look at the stories where it mentioned that they sat at the temple gate for 40 years...she suffered for 18 years...they would have been there that day...and He came back for them. The answer was not no that day that they were praying. They didn't know that the Son of God, the Messiah....was just inside the temple. The answer wasn't no...it was just yes, but wait.

You see there's a peace, an authority that comes when you know to whom you belong, that your life is not your own. There's something about knowing that you're bought at a price....living for the One who calls the shots, whose in full control of all this, to know who you are, Whose you are, Who can be fully trusted...

You can give your life away.

Now let's fast forward 21 years to our main passage of Scripture. Jesus has now come to His purpose for living, not for honor, not for success, not for houses or for fame, for riches or for glory. He was preaching, teaching and doing miracles, but that wasn't His purpose...it wasn't enough...it couldn't save us.

Mark 15

Jesus Faces Pilate

¹ Immediately, in the morning, the chief priests held a consultation with the elders and scribes and the whole council; and they bound Jesus, led Him away, and delivered Him to Pilate. ² Then Pilate asked Him, “Are You the King of the Jews?”
He answered and said to him, “It is as you say.”
³ And the chief priests accused Him of many things, but He answered nothing. ⁴ Then Pilate asked Him again, saying, “Do You answer nothing? See how many things they testify against You!” ⁵ But Jesus still answered nothing...

You see, there's power in knowing the answer to question, knowing to whom you belong. Jesus did and He gave Himself for you. The challenge for us daily...today...is to be still and give ourselves fully to the purposes and assignments written for us by our Heavenly Father. He can trusted. The answers are found in His Word, close to His heart. Run to Him, draw near to Him...He promises to draw near to you. There's power in being still and trusting the quiet.

The Time in Between the Dream

2010-05-13T09:26:00.002-05:00

Has God ever given you a really crazy dream…like a big, huge, if you told anyone about it they’d think you were insane, only He can do it kind of dream? Did He ever give it to you when you were just young or zealous enough to believe you actually do it? Me too!!!! Ok, so I’m gonna get real with you. God has given me some dreams in my life…some big ones, some crazy ones, some massive ones. You know how the Bible says that the devil is like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour? Well, sometimes I kind-of see him like the wolf from little red riding hood, trying every trick in his book to steal the cookies in my basket with big half/truths. "My...what big dreams you have, Apryl...and say, what's with all these dreams that HE'S given you? Ummmm, where is your is God now? Doesn't look like...I thought He said...Maybe you just misunderstood." That's why we've got to know Him and the truth of His word backwards and forwards...we've got "to know this love that surpasses all understanding". Because, there are going to be times when our futile minds are not going to be able to debate. There are going to be seasons that our emotions cannot contend with the depths of pain in our soul and Satan will cash in. We've got to know down deep in our soul....who we're called to, not what we're called to, because that can change. When Jesus was on the mountain being tempted, Satan didn't come at him with obvious lies...he came at him with subtle half/truths. He came at Jesus with his dreams, his hopes, his needs, his calling...but Jesus came back, not with what was His but with who He was and to whom He belonged! That's what the truth boils down to. Satan can't argue with that, neither can our emotions. When I hear these same voices in my head saying to me, “Apryl, those are some big dreams you got there…there are so many other people who are way more talented, educated, skilled and experienced than you. What about all the other people that have that same dream too? What about all the people that have tried and failed? What about all the ones who never made it? What if you're wrong?" Well, in my mind and in all earthly understanding, Satan's right, my logical mind and emotions are right. But that's not the whole truth. Oh, I'll do my best and get the education and experience I need to get the skill as the Lord leads me, but I know to whom I belong. I know to whom I have been called and who did the calling and it wasn't me (thank goodness)! Jesus knew the whole truth and he let Satan know the difference. Will you and I have the courage and take the time to know the truth, to know God himself in a way to know to whom we belong...and expose the father of all lies as the powerless wolf that is trying to steal our cookies from our basket of dreams that God has given us to bring His plans to this world? Humanity is waiting.

Dreams are dangerous, though. "When you wish upon a star..." Gag a maggot! Please! Dreams are wonderful when they come true, but when you are waiting for them, when they don't come true, when you don't know if they'll ever.......what do you do? Dreams will punch you in the mouth! Then, dreams will make like they're all sorry and say, "omgoodness! Let me see! I didn't mean to!" Then when you go over to let your dreams look at your bloody lip....BAM! Punched in the mouth again! Nobody ever told you about these kind-of dreams before huh? Yeah...I know about these kind-of dreams! But I bet these are the dreams that most of you have had, too! Fact is, most of us have been dissappointed by dreams. Some by waiting for dreams that we have dreamed up on our own, some by waiting for dreams that God has given us, some of us are trying to figure out the difference. Most of us however, are in waiting, and it's hard.

Dreams can mean so many things to many different people. Some people have dreams of owning their home or finding their soul-mate. You might be dreaming of starting your own business to fund the kingdom of God or having a child of your own to hold in your arms and smell their sweet little head as you sing them sweet songs of grace every night. Whatever the dream, they all come from deep down in our soul. Sometimes, God will actually gives us literal dreams. Not all dreams are prophetic, though. Some are simply symbolic and some are just simply our subconscious and natural sleeping patterns in our brains. That's why it's important to stay close to God and not read into everything, but just focus on relationship with God and knowing your Shepherd's voice. He'll protect you from wolves in sheep's clothing (or grandma's clothing haha! ok, I'll stop!). He will give you dreams and visions over your life. " For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope”.(Jer 29:11) “He is the author and finisher of our faith.” (Heb 12:2) “He who began the good work in you will complete it.” (Phil 1:6) That means what He starts He finishes. It also means that what you start, you must finish. When we start dreaming up start things simply for the sake of having "vision" that's where we can get into trouble and go chasing “vain imaginations”. If you are passionately pursuing the heart of God, you will find the dream of God, have passion, vision and dreams will follow that are all-consuming and won’t let you go!

I remember when God started calling me into ministry and we began to have a close friendship and I began to let the Holy Spirit disciple me through Bible college, I would go for hours to Paul B State Park in Hattiesburg, Mississippi with my guitar, blanket and bible. I would spend hours just sitting in the park just getting to know my Heavenly Father. I couldn’t get enough of Him. During that time, He began to put this passion and stirring deep down in my soul, many dreams that He had written for my life, ways He wanted to use me in His plan to make Him known, to help people find relationship with Him and rescue the lost and hurting, bring hope to the hopeless and give them beauty for their ashes. After all, it seemed natural, " to whom much grace is given, much more abounds" and I had been given so much grace, so much love, so much mercy….I just couldn't (and still can't) help but give it away! You see, that hurt you’re going through right now, that pain, that sin you’ve been struggling with….if you will give it to God, He will give you so much grace and mercy in your time of need that, I promise you…if you'll lean into God, you’re gonna come out with a dream and vision for others…a pure heart after God.

Fifteen years later, a little wisdom and a whole lot of hope of the dream deferred, recently a number of events took place where everything in me wanted to retreat and run for my life! I look at myself, my experience, my inadequacies, my education and my failures in the little things and honestly don’t know what God was thinking about choosing me! But still…it won’t let me go. He won’t let me go…I can’t let Him go! In fact a couple of weeks ago, I was having "a moment", whining to my best friend Jill about why it is that it seems that everyone else around me seems to have favor dripping off of them and I've worked so hard my whole life only to seem to end up on a treadmill getting nowhere. Well, like a good best friend should, she held me accountable for my words. She, like a lot of my friends, have had the financial and earthly favor I was speaking of, but she quickly reminded me that I hear from God in a way that a lot of people don't, that I have the favor of God dripping off of me in ways that other people wish they did. My heart immediately broke because I know there is only so much money in the world to go around, only so much earthly favor, but God intends, even sent His Son to die and rise again, seated at His right Hand, sending His Holy Spirit to dwell within us, so that EVERYONE could know Him and have divine favor like I've known. She placed my dream and perspective back in my heart. There's this amazing verse that God gave me in Hosea 11:3-4 that I just haven' t been able to let go of:

Yet it was I who taught Ephriam to walk;

I took them up by their arms,

but they did not know that I healed them.

I led them with cords of kindness,

with the band of love

and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws,

and I bent down to them to feed them.

We're going to talk more about this verse next week when we talk about turning our wilderness into a place of rest, instead of a place of dispair...but what a lesson to be learned here! We get so bogged down constantly with the "let me hurry up and learn the lesson, pass the test, so I can get the heck out of this wilderness and to my promised land! We don't stop to realize that our God is bending down to hand feed us manna from heaven and giving us water from a rock! Enjoy your God! If you are in your wilderness, if He "did not take you by way of the Philistines",you aren't ready! He is showing us Himself so that we can get to know Him. We worked hard in our "Egypts", our wilderness' are places of rests for God to bring us to back to our first love. It's why He started doing this in me the first place. No matter what the dream...the heart of that dream for God is "to know Him and make Him known" to make disciples. Everything else is just gravy!

There are so many dreams that I am frankly so embarrassed to tell you, under qualified and others are just plain better equipped and deserve more than I do! But frankly, I don't really care. If God be for me, who can be against me? My dream isn't big stages and crowds…it's people, each one, one by one. Oh I believe that God will reach the crowds and masses, but I see each seat, each person, each story, each life, each pain, and one touch from the Master. God help all of us who plan for big auditoriums and don't see the seats, the people, the stories. Because at the end of the day, it's not about my dream anyway...it's His dream. " It's not I that live, but Christ that lives within me. The life I now live I live unto the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me." And then, there’s this promise that I made 15 years ago to my first love, Jesus…to give Him my life, for giving me Life. I can’t let Him go….this side of the dream, no matter how much at times it hurts, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how uneasy or out of control I feel...He is a pleasure that is tattoo’d in my soul. I understand Him differently this side of the dream, this side of the heartache, this side of the hope deferred, just this side of the time in between. Well, that's my dream. What's your dream?

I am reminded of the story of Joseph in Genesis. First, let me give you a little history lesson in the story of God that He is writing here because it involves you and I. It begins with the story of Joseph's grandparent's, Abraham and Sarah. God had already chosen Abraham and Sarah before they were even formed in their mother’s womb, way back when Adam and Eve first sinned, and God had made a plan for you and I. He chose Abraham and Sarah to have Isaac at the ripe old age of 90 and 100! Isaac and Rebecca had Esau and Jacob, twins who were born just seconds apart. Because of those seconds, Jacob is born, not the “rightful heir” or with any birthright, but something in him “just knows” there’s something greater and spends his entire life manipulating situations to control the dream that was already the plan of God over his life to be in this lineage of God’s story for you and I…way back before he was ever created. If only he trusted that God would do what He promised to do. So he finds himself wrestling with God to bless him (after he was already blessed!?!) because he’s tired of fighting for the dream that is bigger than he is that he can’t do on his own (I'm writing a whole book about this one!) So God blesses him and changes his name to Israel. Jacob has 12 sons. You ever heard of the 12 tribes of Israel? These were from Jacob, one of his sons was Joseph.

Out of Jacob’s 12 sons, he was only able to have two sons through his wife Rachel, which was the wife that he truly loved with all his heart. Of these two sons, the oldest was Joseph; the youngest was Benjamin for which Rachel died giving birth to. The Bible says that Jacob favored Joseph because of his old age. But I wonder if it Jacob favored Joseph, not only as an older parent would, but maybe because he had some traits of his mom in him as well. Maybe Joseph had Rachel’s eyes, nose and mouth, her cheekbones or her curly hair or maybe the same sense of humor that Rachel had. Oh how Jacob missed her. And when Joseph walked into a room and he saw those eyes, heard that voice, it gave him a little reminder of his beloved Rachel....oh how he must have lit up every time Joseph walked into the room! Whatever it was…Jacob loved Joseph so much that he spoiled him rotten, almost like a grandparent would. That’s probably why it wasn’t hard for Joseph to believe in the dreams that God gave him. His dad believed in him. It wasn’t a far stretch to believe that God would. God had already given his blessing to his dad and I’m sure they talked about it many times late at night under the moonlight. But then one day the whole family dynamic changed all over a dream…I told you…dreams are funny like that. Dreams will mess you up…but they’ll become your message, if you’ll let them!

Joseph was a seventeen-year-old young man. He took care of the flocks with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives. Joseph told his father about the bad things his brothers were doing.

Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons because Joseph had been born in Israel’s old age. So he made Joseph a special robe with long sleeves. Joseph’s brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them. They hated Joseph and couldn’t speak to him on friendly terms.

Joseph had a dream and when he told his brothers, they hated him even more. He said to them, “Please listen to the dream I had. We were tying grain into bundles out in the field, and suddenly mine stood up. It remained standing while your bundles gathered around my bundle and bowed down to it.”

Then his brothers asked him, “Are you going to be our king or rule us?” They hated him even more for his dreams and his words.

Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream: I saw the sun, the moon, and 11 stars bowing down to me.”

When he told his father and his brothers, his father criticized him by asking, “What’s this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers come and bow down in front of you?” So his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept thinking about these things. Genesis 37:2-11

We all know what happens next, Joseph goes to check on his brothers. His brothers strip his robe from him and scheme to kill him. But after some thought, they see some merchants from Egypt coming down the road and devise a plan to sell him as a slave to the merchants, kill a goat, poor the blood onto the coat and tell his father that Joseph was killed by an animal. For years, Joseph, even though he is favored in whatever he does, continues to have other dreams, interpret dreams, and is promoted, demoted, forgotten, accused, and jailed, and promoted again. But what I think the hardest thing for Joseph were the last words that his father said to him and that Jacob had not believed in him. Joseph could handle his brothers and everyone making fun of him, not believing him....but dad? They had talked so many times before. Jacob had always encouraged him that Joseph could do anything he put his hand to because the God of his fathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob was with him. Joseph believed him. He had seen it with his father. Joseph knew that he was apart of something greater…that’s why he believed those dreams. He just didn’t understand the dreams and that’s why he went to his father. He never "dreamed" that his father would have responded like that..." maybe I deserve where I'm at. Maybe I am just a foolish boy with a bunch of foolish dreams," he thought. So for all those years of being forgotten, still living in integrity but in slavery, there was still something in him that believed not in what he was to become or where he was going, or even in the dream, but in was in WHO he was….I think that's what kept him going. But I still wonder...if when Joseph’s head laid down on that old hard jail floor at night, forgotten by everyone who promised to remember him....if there were moments when he thought his God, his heavenly Father had forsaken him, like his earthly father had? I wonder if he felt like the sons of Korah, his soon-to-be distant relatives from the tribe of his brother Levi as written in Psalms 42:

As the deer longs for streams of water,

so I my soul longs for you, O God.

I thirst for God, the living God.

When can I go and stand before him?

Day and night I have only tears for food,

while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,

“Where is this God of yours?”

My heart is breaking

as I remember how it used to be:

I walked among the crowds of worshipers,

leading a great procession to the house of God,

singing for joy and giving thanks

amid the sound of a great celebration!

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—

My Savior and my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you…

I hear the tumult of the raging seas

as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.

But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,

and through each night I sing his songs,

praying to God who gives me life.

“O God my rock,” I cry, “Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I wander around in grief, oppressed by my enemies?”

Their taunts break my bones.

They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?

I will put my hope in God!I will praise him again—

my Savior and my God!

You see, his brother Levi’s descendants ended up being the choir directors and worship leaders. The tribe of Korah started a revolt against Moses, were killed, and their descendants were considered outcasts, paying for the sins of their fathers. They weren’t allowed to fulfill the destiny and calling placed on their lives for centuries because of the decisions of someone else. But King David ended up restoring them to their calling....all because God heard their cry. I’m sure that’s how Joseph felt too in all those years of waiting on the dream, being overlooked, misunderstood, lied on, and mistreated...all because of the decisions of others. But God had a plan. Man doesn't call us, God does. God was writing Joseph's story. God had to get Joseph, like all us "dreamers" to know that at the end of the day, when it's just you and God, who is it that has called you? With dreams, it's not the dream that carries you...dreams fade. In those moments, it all comes down to a call. It comes down to you knowing....to whom do you belong?

God was writing the nation of Israel's story to deliver them from famine later and lead them to the promised land. But Joseph couldn't see that far. I bet there were so many times he wondered if he missed the boat on God. I’m sure he recalled in all those lonely moments in jail cells every single thing he had done wrong that would cause him to not deserve the call, the dream, the destiny he knew that God had chosen for him. That’s where condemnation comes in. Lately when I feel that way, I've started singing that old hymn, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus! Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.” Those “things of earth”, includes you and I, my friend. We never deserved it in the first place. We can never earn it. We could have never done it in the first place.

So why tell us and then make us wait? Why did God tell Joseph his plans at such a young age and then let him get his heart broken? Why not just wait until he was mature enough to handle the news of such a big dream? I believe it was about hope and faith. The bible says that " Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen." I believe that we get these two confused sometimes and start thinking hope and faith are one and the same, when they are actually two very different things. I heard the best explanation from Andy Stanley a couple of weeks ago on his series, "Faith, Hope and Luck" on this subject. He simply put that 'hope' is as if I were to call you up and ask if you wanted to meet me for lunch. I would "hope" that you were going to come, but my 'faith' in you, our relationship and the trust we share would make me block out time in my calendar, show up to the restaurant and wait for you expectantly to come. Isn't that awesome? That is how we should look at the dreams and hopes God has placed in our lives, we blocking out our calendars...not for a "things" or a "destination" but for a date with our God. The problem is that a lot of us think that God have stood us up on a few dates and have lost faith in Him. Or maybe we're still sitting there waiting for him to show up, thinking He's really late for this date...what then?

King Solomon, gave us a nugget of wisdom in Proverbs when he said, “hope deferred makes the heart grow sick”. This makes me think of the times when we’ve been in a position where we’ve been in a bind and couldn’t afford one of our loan payments. The problem is that if you do this multiple times and you have to keep asking them to “defer” payments, they just keep “ballooning the payments” to the end of the loan and you never pay the stinkin' thing off and you never get out of debt. A five year loan turns into an 8 year loan and you end up paying like ridiculous amounts of interest in the end! It’s a lose/lose situation to be in! That’s what happens to hope when your dreams are held up, your hope just keeps getting deferred, ballooned to the end of the loan. That’s why your heart grows sick, you think you’ll never pay off the debt and interest. What do you do when God gives you a dream and then you have to wait? What do you do with the time in between? Here are just a couple of things to take with you and the dream God’s placed in your heart.

WE ARE…“BUT GRASS”

There’s nothing like a dream deferred or a dream that is bigger than us that can make us feel insignificant. However, the smaller we know we are, the greater we can see God for who He really is. But, actually I've found that’s a really great place to be. It's about priority! Plenty of people have their fifteen minutes of fame. Dreams of fame and fortune have led to emptiness, loneliness and unfufilness. How many people work their whole lives to finally attain "The American Dream", the house, 2 cars, the trophy spouse, 2.5 kids, great job, and are absolutely miserable on the inside? Only God can fill you. God is your dream come true. He is and demands to be your first love, your only love, your fame, your success, your glory, and your biggest dream come true! In today's society, the majority of people, deep down, would sell their souls, their families, and their God for fame or success....even in the Christian world! Oh we put a nice pretty label on it, but fame can never be apart of your dream. Some people, even pastors, missionaries, and business people attain fame for as apart of God’s purposes to spread the message of God faster. But I guarantee you, your fame is not apart of God’s primary plan. God’s name and His fame are His plan for the saving of many lives. Even if He makes you famous, successful, favored or renown, our calling is "to know Him and make Him known". If He makes you wealthy...it is for "the saving of many lives". We are blessed to be a blessing. Anything less than that, will always leave you looking for something that you cannot fill. He will not share his glory with another. Keep your priority in your dream...God alone. Listen to what God says through the prophet Isaiah

And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all mankind together will see it.

" For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

A voice says, " Cry out." And I said, " What shall I cry?"

" All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them.

Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."

Isaiah 40:5-8

You might be saying, "Thanks a lot, Apryl. I'm 'but grass'. Dreams are dangerous. This is a really encouraging message here." Oh but it is! God is always going to give us big, huge, massive, God-size dreams that there is no way we can do on our own! This is what this verse means to me....it’s not up to me!!!! Knowing that I am but a fleeting moment in time, there is always someone who is greater and better than I, means that I have to shift all the weight of that call that I was trying to carry onto the shoulders of God. I can love my family, friends and world around me, enjoy my life and love my God and leave it to the Holy Spirit in me to do the job that He was sent to do in me! I can't change hearts and lives anyway! I've spent too many years grieving and wondering what I had done wrong....if I'd only let God be God! If God puts a call on your life, his plan is to carry His word of Hope and Love to this world in whatever way that He has chosen, I don’t care what obstacle faces you or I. It’s still….say it with me….”but grass”!!!!! That dream that He gave you that is way to big for you to accomplish on your own...stop condemning yourself...God knows...we are 'but grass' filled with the Holy Ghost meant to do great and mighty things with the power of Jesus, alone! We do what we can to the best of our ability and then let God do His job! Because the word of the Lord stands forever and His word doesn’t come back void! In other words, “What Big Daddy says, goes!” Now Devil…whatcha got to say about that? That brings me to our final point…

IT’S NOT ABOUT WHERE YOU’RE GOING,

IT’S WHO YOU’RE GOING WITH!

1. Rest and Relaxation.

When God created Adam and Eve on the 6th day, after creating the entire universe, he declared the seventh day, a day of rest. I have always assumed that this was God giving us an example of needing a day of rest from a hard week of work. Being a work-a-holic, thriving on adrenalin and fast-paced environments, I can get a little addicted going from one "go-go" assignment to another. I like to push myself past my limits until I'm ready to pass out, then I crash for a couple of days. That's how I've always viewed the Sabbath for God. He created the whole universe, then He rested on the 7th. We are then to follow His example. But do you really think creating the world made God tired? In fact, the Bible says that he just “spoke” and it came to be. I talk all day long and I guarantee you I don’t get tired one iota!!! Lol! I must get that trait from my Heavenly Father! The most wonderful artist of all time had just created the most wonderfully unique masterpieces of all time and he wanted to share it with his new best friends, the loves of His life! He wanted them to make time for each other, to learn to make Him a priority over all their work and responsibilities, dreams and hopes, loves and passions, to rest up for the job of taking care of everything He had just created…or everything would get skewed! I like to think He wanted to show 'em how everything worked, "on the job training", helping them to appreciate every little detail of the love He had placed in their each leaf, details of the iris, exentricities of the lion's eyes and what he liked to eat and when. He was passing the torch. He was teaching them and us that it's not about working yourself until you can’t stand up any longer and then not being able to even enjoy your family, much less give God your 10%...He wants you to give Him your first fruits so that it will impossible to give JUST the firstfruits of your morning! You'll find creative ways to give your all day! So when the dream gets discouraging and your overwhelmed by the call, by the burden, by the non-movement…”Turn your eyes upon Jesus! Look full in His wonderful face! And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace!”

2. Remember WHO is Writing the Story.

Hebrews 12:2 says that God is the author and finisher of our faith. Phillipians 1:6 says that He who began the good work in you will finish it all the way up until He comes again…that means, even after you aren’t even around anymore! He is the builder of legacies! If He can finish what He started in you when you’re not even here, when you're not in that meeting, when you're no where around...He will do what He promised! Romans 8:28 says that ,”We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Are you called? Are you appointed? Are you chosen? Has God given you a dream that won’t let you go? Remember whose writing the story and remember whose the central character…God. You, I, and the world are His love interests!

3. Remember The Real Dream.

It’s easy when hope is deferred to get discouraged like the Sons of Korah. But take note…we are in a great cloud of witnesses of brothers and sisters who are deep down, soul embedded, dreamers who have been heartbroken and hope deferred but God indebted. And to the voices who would cry out, “Where is your God?” With a resounding voice, we must remember and remind ourselves and our souls…

Why are you downcast oh my soul? Why are you so discouraged within me?

I will put my hope in God! For I will praise him again—

My Savior and my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you…Ps 42

And remember why we began this dream in the first place…and go back to our first love. That’s where the dream is waiting, because it’s not about where we’re going. It’s about WHO we’re going with.

“But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” Acts 20:24

I love you my Jesus!!! My life is in your hands…my Story is yours to write.

I meant then. I mean it more even now. ---Love, Apryl

I come to the garden alone...

2010-03-26T13:49:00.004-05:00

You know those old sayings, "You gotta practice what you preach" and "If you gonna talk the talk, you better walk the walk"? Well friend, let me tell you...this has been one of those weeks! There’s a song that has been playing over and over in my head these last couple of weeks. It’s an old hymn that we used to sing in church when I was growing up. For some reason, these words are haunting me…

I come to the garden alone

While the dew is still on the roses

And the voice I hear falling on my ear

The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice,

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that He gave to me

Within my heart is ringing.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

I’d stay in the garden with Him

Though the night around me be falling,

But He bids me go; through the voice of woe

His voice to me is calling.

I guess the reason these words are so haunting to me is not because of my feelings of closeness with Him, but feelings of failure and loneliness. I’ve been thinking a lot about people who have walked with Jesus in those gardens in the coolness of the evening. I’ve been thinking about how they were dreamers just like me who woke up from those dreams in some form of nightmare. They've gone from His sweet walks and talks...to feelings so unworthiness of anything He could give, unworthy of that kindness, that friendship, that blessing...to outsiders, just outside looking in.

Lets start with the first two of our story, Adam and Eve, the first two to have it all...and the first two royally mess it all up. We all know the story. God created them in His own image, to walk with Him in the coolness of the day, to have relationship with them, to love and be loved, to have and to hold, for richer and to have and even get better and better everyday...until one day....it was all over. "Adam....Eve...where are you?" They hear their sweet friend call their name in that garden, but this time it wasn't like all the other times He had said their names.

Can you imagine the day when they realized they had messed up; when they heard God’s voice and knew they had dishonored the One that had done everything to honor them? I think that’s why they hid. They had never sinned before. They were trying to figure out what to do next. How do you look into the eyes....at the face of the One you love ....the one who has given you everything and know you’ve blown it?

Sin is funny like that. I feel like that all the time. Seems like every time I blow it, I want to hide…I want to roll up in a ball and hide until I figure out what I could say that could possibly come close to anything worthy of something that would constitute my forgiveness….but there isn’t. Nothing can compare to the love He has shown me, the mercy He has given me, the blessings and favor He has placed on my life…and I continue to open my big mouth and mess it all up! AHHHHH! In these moments, I feel like I’m looking back at the garden alone, with those huge angels guarding it, keeping me out of His presence…and with the tears running down my face and nothing to but shame and a loin cloth to cover me, I’m reminded of another garden scene…

Fast forward….Jesus has been crucified. Peter has proclaimed absolutely that he will not deny his friend, as most type A personalities do! Jesus sweetly tells him that he will. Poor Peter. He gets so much flack. Every sermon I hear on Peter, we are judging him, but I think the reason is, because we all identify with Peter, because he has something in him like all of us…a dream. He is just bold enough to tell everybody, like most creative types do. He has so much zeal, zest for life, so many ideas, so much creativity; he is bigger than life…he just wants to help. He’s one of those people that just had to be involved in everything.....and there is something in him that he can’t explain. No one really understands....but his friend Jesus did. Maybe that’s why he’s so passionate about Jesus. And he has big plans, he always has, and when they’re alone, Jesus would listen to him and encourage him. He would share his thoughts with Jesus and this man that everyone else looked up to...His holy eyes would light up…it was incredible! It just made matters worse though. Nobody had ever done that before. He was just a fisherman. Who would ever listen to a fisherman about anything of importance? Of course he got carried away! Wouldn’t you? That’s why Peter had "open mouth, insert foot syndrome"…but his heart is in the right place. He’s either completely dead right or completely wrong, but there was no in between. There is no gray area with Peter. I get Peter. I am just like him.

So on this morning in this garden, this was one of the wrongest moments of his life and Peter couldn’t have felt any worse. He had denied his friend, remembers how ademently he argued that he wouldn't and now they are telling him that Jesus’ body is missing from the tomb. He remembers another garden scene that Jesus had invited him to just days before that he had messed up then too! Why couldn't he have stayed up and prayed like Jesus had asked? Maybe he would have been stronger! Maybe he woulda...coulda done what he knew he was capable of...maybe not..."Maybe," Peter thought, "maybe I'm just not cut out for all these dreams that I've got, that we talked about...maybe I'm not..." But then, Peter remembers a conversation. He races down determined to be the first at the scene…it’s always been assumed that Peter wanted to be first to the tomb as in "typical Peter fashion", but I think it was because, Peter remembered that conversation and needed once more as the song says,

I come to the garden alone

While the dew is still on the roses

And the voice I hear falling on my ear

The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

I think he remembered...

Matthew 16:15-18

Then Jesus asked them, “But who do you say I am?”

Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

Jesus replied, “You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you. You did not learn this from any human being. Now I say to you that you are Peter (which means ‘rock’), and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.

Yes, I think Peter recalled his name and went looking for Jesus in the garden. But then again…one other has known this voice in the garden…I take you to another this story, her name is Mary Magdalene. She had been delivered of seven demons by Jesus many moons ago and had devoted herself to take care of Him, to follow Him, no matter what…and she meant it. You see, she followed Jesus, just like Peter. She was there that morning too. But unlike Peter, she never left. She did not deny him. When everyone else betrayed him, she stayed with him...she did everything she was supposed to, she thought. She was there at the foot of cross, she never missed one second. As hard as it was to watch, she knew…it was even harder to go through for her friend, Jesus. She didn’t understand why He was doing this, but she never understood Him…she just loved Him, because He loved her first. She was there when He took His last breath. She was there to help the apostle John catch Jesus’ mother Mary as she collapsed in heartbreak, not understanding why her son had to die.

Oh, I know they had all seen miracles, angels, and heard voices from heaven, but in that moment, He was their friend, her son, his brother…how could this be God’s Son…to crucify His own Son? But she never left. It was too chaotic. Her friend needed her. He might be gone, but He still needed her. She was there for the earthquake. She was there when they took her Friend off the cross. She was there when they brought Him to the tomb. When everyone else left, she had been there ever since, weeping for her friend.

Then, that Sunday morning, before the sun even rose, she went back to that garden ready, with the spices, to serve her friend one last time, not understanding, but to love Him, like He’d loved her. But the stone…it’s gone! Linens lying there, all neatly at the head and feet…how can this be? Where’s the stone? Where’s my friend? "I just don't understand...He promised never to leave me or forsake me...and here I am in the garden alone...and now even His body is gone by simple thugs..."

John 20:1-16

On Sunday morning while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.

She ran to Simon Peter and to Jesus' favorite disciple and said, " They have taken the Lord from the tomb! We don't know where they have put him."

Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. They ran side by side, until the other disciple ran faster than Peter and got there first. He bent over and saw the strips of linen cloth lying inside the tomb, but he did not go in.

When Simon Peter got there, he went into the tomb and saw the strips of cloth. He also saw the piece of cloth that had been used to cover Jesus' face. It was rolled up and in a place by itself. The disciple who got there first then went into the tomb, and when he saw it, he believed. At that time Peter and the other disciple did not know that the Scriptures said Jesus would rise to life. So the two of them went back to the other disciples.

Mary Magdalene stood crying outside the tomb. She was still weeping, when she stooped down and saw two angels inside. They were dressed in white and were sitting where Jesus' body had been. One was at the head and the other was at the foot.

The angels asked Mary, " Why are you crying?"

She answered, " They have taken away my Lord's body! I don't know where they have put him."

As soon as Mary said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there. But she did not know who he was. Jesus asked her, " Why are you crying? Who are you looking for?"

She thought he was the gardener and said, "Sir, if you have taken his body away, please tell me, so I can go and get him."

Then Jesus said to her, " Mary!"

She turned and said to him, " Rabboni”…

You see, what strikes me here is that all it took was Jesus to call her name...Did you notice that? It goes on to tell how Jesus visited each one ministering to each of their doubts...no matter how crazy and outlandish they were...and called them each by name, answering their prayer they had made months before, " I believe, yet help my unbelief"..." and He breathed on them and they received the Holy Spirit".

I came to a realization this week. I’ve always identified with Peter, because I have “open mouth/insert foot syndrome”. I’m bold, transparent, have no secrets, I’ve got a lot of ideas, I’m zealous, excited, love my friends with all my heart and I’m really not afraid to go all out to let everyone know it. Has it gotten me into some trouble? Absolutely! Do I have some wisdom to learn with it? For the rest of my life! Just like Peter I find myself either getting praised or fussed at constantly! But I found God in the garden alone this week again, lifting my chin, looking into my eyes, telling me I am His own, that He made me this way, in His image, and all these things that I keep trying to change, He finds endearing, just like Peter. Like Mary, I didn't understand how you can do everything you're supposed to and still find yourself standing in the garden alone...looking at what you think is the gardner and all hope seems lost...when in fact, you're looking in the eyes of the Savior transformed for you...I just have to be still long enough to hear Him whisper my name. Notice what she calls Him back..."Rabbani..." which means, "Teacher". That's what happens when we come to the end of ourselves....we realize that we have so much learn about ourselves, when He calls our name. Then there's Adam and Eve...when I'm looking back at the garden...on the outside looking in...

I remember another garden scene...where Jesus is calling out His Father's name asking...begging..."Let this cup be taken from me...yet, not my will, but Yours". You see, that day when God called Adam's name, God made a choice. Like the unfaithful spouse that they had been to Him, God made a choice...would He make a plan...or would God walk again and talk again and tell them that they were His own? Was the joy that they shared as they tarried there like none other He'd ever known? You be the judge...

So " God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes on Him would not perish but have everlasting life."

Did you know that the Bible says in I Cor 15 and Rom 5 that Jesus came to be the last Adam? That means that if it had been just Adam...God would have sent His only Son...but He knew He wanted you and me...

This has been one of the toughest weeks, few months of my life...I don't know why the things that are happening in my life are happening and what is in store for me next...sometimes life isn't all wrapped up with a pretty little bow. It scares the mess out of me most days. But what I do know is this...

I come to the garden alone

While the dew is still on the roses

And the voice I hear falling on my ear

The Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

He speaks, and the sound of His voice,

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that He gave to me

Within my heart is ringing.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.

I’d stay in the garden with Him

Though the night around me be falling,

But He bids me go; through the voice of woe

His voice to me is calling.

There is none like you, Jesus...

No one else can touch my heart like you do

I could search for all eternity, Lord, and find

There is none like you.

How to simply have LEGENDary faith right when you need it!

2010-03-12T12:29:00.000-06:00

We all have things that we need faith for…things that we are asking God for… answers that we need…things that we are waiting for….so how is it that simple faith sometimes seems harder to come by than BIG LEGENDARY faith. You know kind-of like how a paper cut can hurt more than having a baby? Maybe they should give epidurals for paper cuts! I’m just kidding! (no really…have you ever had a paper cut? Dem sucka’s hurt!) Or perhaps you’re going through a season in your life where you can believe God to take care of your everyday life, but to ask Him for BIG faith, LEGENDARY faith to do that BIG thing, you know thing you really want to ask…well, that’s only for “them”, you know the pastors, priests, evangelists, Mother Theresa’s, Billy Graham’s, missionaries, and martyrs, but little ole’ you and me’s? What if I told you that BIG ole’ legendary faith and simple little mustard seed faith are all one in the same to God…

I’m going to start off this week with one of my favorite and first promises God ever gave me. It comes from Psalm 37. You must go back and read the entirety of the chapter. It’s an amazing chapter of scripture for every difficulty you could ever go through, chunked full of promises and wisdom. But for the sake of time, we’ll pull one verse for today….

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Seems easy enough right? Delight yourself in the LORD; He’ll give you what you want. Kind of-like a heavenly year round Santa. Guess that’s why something about this verse also has always bothered me about the state of my own heart if I took it at face value or at a formulaic value, until years ago, while in college, I took the time to understand the meaning of the term, “to delight” which by definition means:

“to take pleasure in, to enjoy the company of, a feeling of extreme pleasure or satisfaction, something or someone that provides a source of happiness, to be spellbound”

Now that’s more like it! I can understand that. But wait…still….it doesn’t seem like a fair equation, but then God spoke to me, “Neither does grace”. I’ve found that what is so awesome about our God is that we may come to Him for all the wrong reasons, but once we get to Him, once we get just a taste of Him, we become “spellbound” and He is our soul’s delight. It’s not up to us to “get all cleaned up” to get to Him. We’ll never get there! If we’ll just come as we are…we won’t be able to resist His charm! Now I’m not saying use God and He’ll give you all your selfish desires, wiggle our little noses and use Him as our Heavenly Santa, but what I am saying is that if you’ll start seeking God….no matter what gets you to Him, you’ll find Him. When you find Him, you won’t want to let Him go (and He never lets you go either!) But wait, there’s more! Listen to this…

Jeremiah 9:23-24 (New International Version)

This is what the LORD says:

"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom

or the strong man boast of his strength

or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:

that he understands and knows me,

that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,

justice and righteousness on earth,

for in these I delight,"

declares the LORD.

You see, God wants to bless us, answer our prayers and He will! But the point is to boast in Him, to bring us closer to Him. He wants to show us kindness. It brings Him delight! He’s so excited about you right now, look at the way He feels for you here in Zephaniah…

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

That’s why in Hebrews 11:6 it says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God” because in Psalms 23:6 King David declares, “Surely your goodness and mercy are pursuing me all the days of my life”! What am I doing wrong?” Good question. I’m glad you asked. My life hasn’t always been a bed of roses. I’ve had my fair share of challenges. I could write a book on the crazy things that have happened to me and my family. But you know what? Giving up just ain’t an option…so what’s next? Well, you might say, “Of course ‘King David said that—he was a Legend of Faith, ‘A man after God’s own Heart’, Apryl! Ain’t no goodness and mercy calling my house! It’s more like creditors and one bad circumstance after another pursuing me all the days of my life.

My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble.

You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested.

But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything. James 1:2-4

For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Hebrews 5:3-5

You see, there was a greater picture here. The bigger picture was you, me and the grand story of God. I might not understand it while I’m going through it, or even sometimes after I’m going through it, but I can look at everyone I meet directly in the face and tell them with absolute certainty, not because I learned it in Sunday School, or because I heard it from some preacher somewhere, but because I’ve lived and know these promises to be true!

I guess that’s why it’s so important to teach my girls this lesson. They are at an age that when they don’t listen to me, when they disobey, argue or don’t do what I’ve instructed; it doesn’t upset me because I want to control them. It is because I see a bigger picture than they do. It’s a matter of they’re heart. It’s a matter of trust. They don’t trust me when they disobey me. I remind them and myself Jesus’ teaching us, “If you love me, you’ll obey my commandments.” That’s what faith is all about too. It’s because I love them that I make them eat healthy, not run near the road, choose the right friends, learn to obey and respect us, even when it breaks my heart to follow through with the discipline. But I must….and God must….because He loves us. Because, to know God is to trust God; it’s to have faith that He sees a bigger picture for our lives than we do and that He is directing our steps, ordaining them one by one and is lovingly orchestrating story than we could ever come up with on our own that will far surpass our own lifetime…just take a look at our next scripture back in Hebrews….(you’re gonna love this!)

Hebrews 11:1-2

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation….

(vs 6)And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

Then the author of Hebrews goes on to describe man after man, woman after woman, time after time that God promises something, someone believes, God delivers. But then, all the sudden, this verse….oh my goodness….just pops out of nowhere! A promise of something bigger than us….It’s starts in verse 8 and continues on throughout the chapter…you have to read the whole chapter in the NLT, but for the sake of time, we’re going to highlight vs 8-16…

8 It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going.

9 And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise.

10 Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.

11 It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise.

12 And so a whole nation came from this one man who was as good as dead—a nation with so many people that, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore, there is no way to count them.

All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. 14 Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. 15 If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. 16 But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Are you kidding me? I’m freaking out over here!!!!! That scripture stinkin ROX! These people died never seeing the promises they had believed for. And did you notice back in verse 9 And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise”. How could they have this kind of faith that would make them live like this? You ready for the answer? Drumroll please………it wasn’t their dream, their promise, their story, they were looking forward to…..theirs would have been too small. They decided to trade their dreams in for God’s. They decided to “delight themselves” in God.

Have you ever seen what happens to people when they fall in love? They suddenly take on each others lifestyles, hobbies and interests. Where they never would have dreamed of going fishing before, you might find the “girliest of divas” all suited up with camo (blinged out with rhinestones of course). Or a guy who is the epitamy of manhood, suddenly like a girl and will suddenly find interest in watching “So You Think You Can Dance” just so he can spend time with her and actually find himself liking it just because she does. That’s what happens when you fall in love. That’s what happened to these Legends of Faith. Let’s keep reading,

“All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back.“

When you fall in love, when you make that call to move forward with someone, to choose to spend your life with someone, it’s all in. That’s why they call it a covenant. There’s no going back. It says it right here. You know it. We know that in human relationships, if we leave the door open, the door will always be there. No, you got to close the door, and never look back. Failure is not an option. Giving up is not an option. Going back is not an option here. We’re looking forward. Our eyes are set on the promise, a higher promise, a heavenly one, Jesus. Now look how He responds…

But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Man, our God is awesome!!!!! But wait it gets better!

So I mentioned last week that I’m reading Louie Giglio’s book, “I Am Not But I Know I AM” and it is just really making me stinkin loose my mind!!!! We talked about God’s name and how He is I AM, the great IAM and if His name is I AM then that means that our name is I am not. Well, anywho…you know when you’re going through something and someone tries to encourage you and it makes no sense at the time? Well I had one of those moments a few months back with Ms. Ann. I don’t know if most of you know Ms. Ann, but she is like….well, she’s “MS ANN”!!!! When, she speaks, you listen. No matter what the woman says, if she says it came from her prayer closet, whether it makes sense or not….you take it!

Well, it was when all this sickness first started and I was coming from one of my doctors and she saw me getting some lunch and said,

“Apryl, I heard you’ve been sick. What’s been going on? What are they saying?”

So I told her what I knew (which wasn’t much, but was scary at the time). Then she spoke…

“Apryl,” she said, “you know I was reading this morning and God spoke to me.”

My ears perked up. My spirit was listening intently. Here we go, Lord. I’m listening. Burning bush moment……….she continued,

“Then the Word became flesh and dwelt among us”…….

Ok…..not getting it. Did you? But then again, this was Ms. Ann. She got it, so it was probably something so far over my head that I didn’t want to look like I was stupid, so I smiled and with a look of complete super-spirituality and said, “Ummmmm, that’s good, Ms. Ann.” I thanked her and went home and read it like a million times and NEVER GOT IT……….until this week! So it takes some of us longer to “get” things than others….

So in reading this book by Louie Giglio, he explains that the original meaning of the name of God for I AM in Hebrew is actually, to be or simple BE. God’s name is actually the verb tense of “BE’, which is why in the English we translate it to be, I AM. See how I said, “to be, I AM”? It is a verb. By Him all things came to …..BE? Getting it? Ok…so then this morning I am reading a story of how Louie is dissecting the scripture of the first chapter of John and God impresses him to take each word of those first verses and spend a whole day meditating on them.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

The same was in the beginning with God.

All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

In him was life; and the life was the light of men. (1-4)

Then he says it….”the word BE-came flesh and dwelt among us”. Right stickin there in vs 14 just like Ms. Ann said, through the Holy Spirit to me that day! The great I AM, BEcame flesh and dwelt among us. Why would He do this? Why didn’t He just speak a Word? Why did He come down from Heaven, humble Himself to be born in a stinky manger, son of an earthly carpenter, of no earthly value and put on flesh? He spoke the world into existence with just a word, “Let there be light and there was light” (Gen 1), but when it came to you and me, the “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” YET, the Great I AM, the Word BE-came flesh to come and rescue us like a knight and shining armor! He even tells us why in the next part of the same verse….”and we BE-held his glory”. Because He couldn’t take one more second not holding us in His arms anymore!

You see, that’s what it’s all about. You and me wrapping our arms around, be-holding our Father, Him be-holding us back! That’s us delighting ourselves in Him! Never looking back! Taking on everything He is, all His interests, falling in love, hopelessly devoted, committing fully to His promises….that’s delighting ourselves in Him! Nothing gives Him more delight than us to Behold Him and see Him as He is! That’s why faith comes by hearing and hearing comes by the WORD OF GOD! How? He is the Word! Wrap yourself in it every morning, every evening, make a date with Him!

Psalm 1:1-3 (Amp)

1 BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather.

2 But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night.

3And he shall be like a tree firmly planted [and tended] by the streams of water, ready to bring forth its fruit in its season; its leaf also shall not fade or wither; and everything he does shall prosper [and come to maturity].

You see, when it all boils down to it, God wants to give us all things. Just pray, spend time BE-holding Him through His WORD and His Holy Spirit, which He placed inside you, to help you hear His voice and experience His presence. He promises that anyone who seeks Him will find Him. So don’t worry. Jesus said that it glorifies Him to answer our prayers and to meet all our needs, but guess what? There’s more to the story than that! There’s more to your life than that! Jesus said that His wish was that we “would do greater things than these”, talking about the things that He did on earth. The key was that Jesus did only the Father’s business. God wants to bless you with the desires of your heart, give us all things, but guess what happens when you get close to God? Suddenly, your desires become His desires. You start realizing that your wants and desires are changing….and all your needs are being met and overflow (man, the overflow!)….Seek first the King, His kingdom and His righteousness…all these things will be added to you…and you, and you, and you, and you, and you…yep…that’s the plan of God.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you.

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—

plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen.

"When you come looking for me, you'll find me.

"Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else,

I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (The Message)

I have one question for you….are you ready?

Well, get to Him!

You got some simply LEGENDARY faith to get BE-hold of! So get to cracka lackin!

The biggest surprises come in the smallest packages!

2010-03-03T16:08:00.006-06:00

This is the story of how it all started, of Heaven and Earth when they were created…

Then God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive—a living soul! Genesis 2:4, 7

Don’t you just those talent shows way back in the day where like these little kids would get up, all shy and frail, and we were all watching and rooting them on inside like, “Awwww….look how cute and nervous they are! It’s ok, baby! You’re gonna be great! You can do it!” Then they open their little mouth and this voice comes out that like blows you out the water. Your mouth is left hanging open, something suddenly flies in your mouth and chokes you and you can’t breathe and have to be rushed to the hospital and have surgery to remove the bug that flew in your mouth and you’re totally embarrassed, and never want to show your face again. And it all happened because of this really big voice that came out of this little bitty girl that you saw on TV that you didn’t expect to sing like a really big person (you know the “really bigger persons” like opera people? Like “when the fat lady sings”---I wonder why we think bigger people have more lung capacity?) Anyway, I’m getting off the subject and that was a little dramatic, but you get my point, that the biggest surprises most of the time do come in smaller packages! Well, today that is what we are going to be talking about! Tada!!!!

Here is a great example of one of those moments. This is a video of Kari Jobe, the singer from the song I posted last week, but she heard about a little girl who sang one of her songs, “Healer” that had been healed of Leukemia, received a heart transplant and had her come to one of her concerts to sing. As you can see in this video, Kari has all intended purposes to sing with the little girl and harmonize, but what comes out of this little package is….well take a listen for yourself…

I am reading this amazing book right now that I would have to recommend everyone. It’s one of those books that by the first chapter it will have changed your life! It’s Louie Giglio’s book, “I Am Not But I Know I AM”. I am going to start off with a couple of quotes from his book that are going to rock your socks off. Then, there will be nothing left to say because your mind will be blown (not really, cuz this is me we are talking about and I always have something to say), but your mouth will be left open (but shut it because bugs might fly in and we all know what happens then).

“Life is the tale of two stories—one finite and frail, the other eternal and enduring. The tiny one—the story of us—is brief as the blink of an eye. Yet somehow our infatuation with our own little story—our determination to make it as big as we possibly can—blinds us to the massive God Story that surrounds us on every side…

I think the same way you can live your life completely oblivious to the grand story of the Creator of the universe that is unfolding all around you. The same way you can spend your days making so much of someone as small and transient as you or me, and so little of someone as glorious and eternal as God.

That’s why this book is not about you and making your story better, but about waking up to the infinitely bigger God Story happening all around you, and God’s invitation to you to join Him in it. …

Here’s why it matters—if we don’t get the two stories straight, everything else in our lives will be out of sync. We’ll spend our days trying to hijack the Story of God, turning it into the story of us. Inverting reality, we’ll live everyday as though life is all about you and me.”

The story already has a star, and the star is not you or me…”

Later in the book he is giving an illustration of how God includes Moses into His story, (instead of vise versa, which is what had previously happened and why Moses was in the wilderness in the first place—remember Moses felt a call to rescue his people earlier in his life, but did it in his own strength. So you can imagine His nervousness in his old age when this “God” who he doesn’t even have a name for comes and tells him in a burning bush to go back and rescue the people again. So he asks God his name so that he can tell Pharaoh. This is Louie’s interpretation of the God’s explanation of His name, I AM instead of a “come-on Moses you can do it” cheer…(this is so awesome)

I AM the center of everything.

I AM running the show.

I AM the same everyday, forever.

I AM the owner of everything….

I AM the Savior.

I AM more than enough.

I AM inexhaustible and immeasurable.

I AM God.

In a heartbeat, Moses knew God’s name—and something more. Moses finally knew his name. For if God’s name is I AM, Moses’ name must be, I am not.

I am not the center of everything.

I am not in control.

I am not the solution.

I am not all powerful.

I am not calling the shots.

I am not the owner of anything.

I am not the Lord.

That’s my name, too. And yours. I am not. Just try it, under your breath,

“My is I am not.”

“I am not running anything.

I am not in charge of anything.

I am not the head of anything.

I am not the maker.

I am not the savior.

I am not holding it all together.

I am not all-knowing.

I am not God.”

Do you want to know why I think that this is so important? Why I think it is probably the most important thing that we can do is trade, our glory for his, our story…our biggest dreams for even His smallest? Because the Bible says a thousand years are as a day to the Lord. Can you imagine trading the biggest dream you have, taking the biggest story you can even come up with for your life and put it next to what God has already written for you using that comparison?

You see, the reason that we get so surprised when those big voices or talent come out of those little bitty kids is because we think, “If they sing like that now, or they can draw or dance like that now, what will they turn out like when they grow up?” That’s what God is saying to you. The Bible says “we’ll see ourselves when we see Him as He is”. That’s why God says to us in Isaiah, "Arise, shine, your light has come, the glory of the LORD shines upon you", not the glory of us, that wouldn't be bright enough. That wouldn't give us the "wow" factor; He wants to give us the glory of the LORD. Jesus said in Matthew, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” You see, the light, the glory, to "see our name in lights" is in us for a reason, to bring glory to God. But it's God's job to make a name for us, not ours. Listen to Psalms 45:17, " I will cause your name to be remembered to all generations...". And it's not 15 minutes of fame either that the world gives then takes away. He says in I Corinthians that we are meant to go from glory to glory. That’s what happens when you hang with the Creator of the universe. You gonna get some glory on ya!

If you will just trade your story, your glory, your voice, your dream, your life, then it’s not going to be up to you to make it happen anymore! What a relief, huh? You will decrease, and He will increase. Then you will receive the “wow” factor! Gradually, people aren’t going understand how one person can have “that much talent” or “can be that creative” or “be that blessed”. It won’t seem fair to them, but you’ll know what “it” is. It’s God. It’s I AM not but I know I AM! You will be blessed in your going in and blessed in your going out, everything your hand touches will be highly favored, the glory of God will shine, radiate from within and all around you. You will become contagious! When you partner with His story for your life…

No, you don’t have to figure it out either! You just have to know I AM. Did you hear that? Just stay close to Him. You’ll hear your Savior’s voice. He’ll share Himself with you, direct your steps, guide you where you need to go….just shift focus….know whose the main character and whose supporting role, whose the story it is and you’ll be ok.

Will you accept the part of supporting character of love interest in this scene of history? Because to God, His story didn’t start until He wrote you in it….

“Heaven and Earth were finished, down to the last detail.

By the seventh day, God had finished his work.

On the seventh day, he rested from all his work.

God blessed the seventh day. He made it a Holy Day

Because on that day he rested from his work, all the creating God had done.

This is the story of how it all started, of Heaven and Earth when they were created…

Then God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive—a living soul! Genesis 2:4, 7

If you remember when I began to get sick, God's instructions to me where that, "I'm doing something bigger than you right now. I'm going to heal you. Just trust Me." I've definately had my moments, but God has been telling me step by step how to pray his will. Last weekend, I felt that it was just time to pray for a total miracle. I sent out a facebook status to ask friends to join me ("where two or more agree"), asked my pastors to pray for me as the Bible instructs, LeJon, myself and the kids laid hands on my stomach and reminded heaven and earth of every promise of healing I could think of and asked my Healer for His will in my life. This week I got the word from my doctor that all the hematomas are gone except the two largest and they are half their size. My sweet christian surgeon said that he knew that it was Jesus, because it normally takes months for hematomas of this size to absorb into the body. The radiologist even took me to cat scan looking for them because they have been the same size all this time and within a week, all were gone, but two and those were half gone! You see, it's not over when the fat lady sings, it's over when my Jesus says so and....HE SAYS SO! My doc said, my pain will now start to quickly begin to decrease and I'll be up and around and better than my old self in less than 2 weeks! It's finally over! I'm healed!!!!!

God is writing our stories and where I might not understand the storyline....I have learned wherever He's going I'm following! I love this journey! I love my God! HE IS THE GREAT I AM and I am not! Thank you Jesus! Here's a song that will make you want to run around your house like an ole' pentecostal! Enjoy your story and your God! He's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week, take time to:

1. Repent for taking the lead role of the story of your life and return the role back to I AM.

2. Write down ways that you can give back to IAM the ways that you ARE NOT.

3. Think of people in your life you can invite into God’s love story and begin to pray for God to show you the ways He has written for you to show them His love and the WOW factor in your life.
4. WORSHIP and LOVE YOUR GOD cause He deserves all the praise. Doesn't He? Tell Him, then. Go, on....and put the "wow" factor on it!

Worshiping With Cigarrettes

2010-02-25T10:21:00.000-06:00

“looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith...”

Hebrews 12:2

I am going to start off this week by with a quote from Joyce Meyer’s book, “How to Succeed at Being Yourself” and then one of the many stories of my journey in the early days of my “transformation” and why I think God has such a great sense of humor! So first Joyce’s quote:

“We must have the kind of love that says, ‘I can love what God can love. I don’t have to love everything I do, but I can accept myself, because God accepts me.’ We must develop the kind of mature love that says, ‘I know I need to change, and I want to change. In fact, I believe God is changing me daily, but in the meanwhile I will not reject what God accepts. I will accept myself as I am right now, knowing that I will not always remain that way.’ Our faith gives us hope for the future.”

Now I’m going to share with you a little of my “testimony” and just a couple of the moments that God and the all the angels must have been having a laughing hysterically while simultaneously crying and rejoicing at the redemptive change that happening in my heart and life while watching these scenes unfold in heaven a couple of these particular nights….

So I was saved back when I was 7, but spiritually was all over the place, never really knowing how to have a true relationship with Jesus. I knew tons of scripture, memorized it all, but did not know that I could have a daily intimate relationship with God. I rededicated my life at every youth camp, got re-baptized at every revival, only to find myself messing up, trying so hard to be cool, accepted, and have friends, boyfriends, etc...and because I just really didn’t know that God really existed or knew that He loved me, I didn't realize that I could have a real relationship with Him, I mean literally. I mean I'm sure they told me that. But it never really worked out. So I figured it was might fault and if there really was a God, so in my mind, there must be something wrong with me. I wanted to be right with Him, so every time I “felt” Him, I tried really hard, but I always failed as soon as “life” kicked back in or I was lonely and needed friends. But I was just scared enough to get the “insurance policy” just in case I was wrong, I didn’t want to go to hell. I’m not fake, so if I wasn't in church and wasn't going to live like a Christian, I lived life like a little “hoochie mama”, there was no middle ground! After years of living like the devil, I found myself in a bar in Memphis, TN (on an Amway convention-lol) on New Years Eve, toasting my date at the stroke of midnight. It was like a Lifetime Movie, because all the sudden, it wasn’t a revival or church service, or some big emotional moment, I just “felt God”, and knew I had to leave that bar. I dropped my champagne glass and it shattered on the ground. I told my date we had to go, which he happily obliged my request, due to my preceding reputation. I left him in his car wandering what had happened to "the Apryl that he’d heard about”.

I went up to my hotel room and sat on the bed. For anyone who knows me, a lack of words is not exactly something I struggle with, but in that moment with God, it was. What was I supposed to say to God that I hadn’t already said a million times? “I’m sorry”? I knew in my heart, even if I said it, I would probably walk out that door the next day and start my lifestyle right back. Even if it wasn’t the next day, I’d give it a week, maybe a month, no more than a year! I mean, come on! This was God I was talking to here! Look at my track record! There’s was nothing I could say! I knew it. He knew it. So I sat there. Legs straight out, back against the headboard, sitting straight up in that hotel bed, by myself from 12am-3pm, January 1^st, 1995, I didn’t say anything, but He didn’t say anything either. He just waited for me, like a gentleman.

Then finally I spoke up, “I can’t”, no emotions, no crying, just matter of fact, honesty. Then I felt Him speak back, “I know”.

“Well, what in the world am I supposed to do?” I said hopelessly with a little sarcasm.

“Just trust me.” He responded.

“But how, I’ll mess up” I said.

“I know. Let’s just take it one day at a time. Just do what you know.”

And that was that. The girl who had gotten me into Amway, whose name I don't even remember, knew I was a hoochie, a walking little devil, and had given me “Experiencing God” devotional, which I smiled cordially at the time (months before this), said thank you and threw it in my trunk as soon as she walked away and forgot about, until I got home from that trip to Memphis. First thing I did that week was go to church with my parents that next Sunday, then the next Wednesday, then the next Sunday. I joined the choir, started helping with children's choir. I did what I knew. The only dress I had was a hoochie dress that was waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy to short, showed waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy tooooooooo much cleavage and left absolutely nothing to the imagination, with fish-net stockings and 5-inch heels (because Madonna was my idol at the time) but I was at church!!!! I remember the pastor ending up years later taking me on as my first youth pastor position after Bible college (where I met LeJon by the way), and he told me later that all the deacons used to complain that they couldn’t concentrate because of my outfits, because I sang in the choir and I smelled terribly of cigarette smoke! But I did what I knew, I went to church every time the doors were open, I read my Bible, even if I didn’t understand it, and I prayed as much as I could. I would read my bible instead of eating at lunch breaks at work, in the mornings when I would wake up and before I went to bed. I was desperate and determined, I would never go back. It wasn't an option. I had to shift focus. Sin would never be my focus. God would be my only focus. Back then, there wasn’t any 92.7 and Hillsong worship or any cool music, and you know me with my music, but I was determined, so I had to listen to old Southern gospel so that I didn’t fill my head with all that nasty music I had been listening to and be tempted to go back into the world and do the things that I was used to. I had to keep my fix my eyes of Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith.

Then, I remember cleaning out the trunk of my car one day and finding that devotional “Experiencing God” and starting it. I remember how it would ask me questions and have me look up scriptures and think about things, journal and pray and suddenly, I was hearing God for myself!!!!! Suddenly, I was addicted! I couldn’t get enough of Him! I remember one night doing that devotion, reading the Bible and scriptures popping off of those pages and my stomach leaping inside of me! Then I would remember a scripture that was similar to that one and I would look it up and I would get so excited about that one too! God was talking to me!!! I was listening to this song on an old cassette tape that a friend had given to me called, “Holy of Holies” and man, I was just sobbing. The combination of the two, worshiping God for the first time like this and being able to hear Him and feel Him love me like this was just overwhelming! I couldn’t stop! Well, I was smoking at the time, so if you’ve ever smoked, you know that when you get emotional, you smoke….I remember going through so many cigarettes that night worshiping God that I actually had to leave my house, go to the store and buy another pack of cigarettes just to so that I could stay up all night and worship and read some more!

The point was that I didn’t see anything wrong at the time! God had saved me from so much, cigarettes was the least of my worries! Of course, God eventually delivered me from them, I became more modest in the way I dress, and all those things worked out, God knew that night where I would be today. Do you think He was mad at me and unwilling to love me, accept me and bless me? I can tell you by experience He loved me, accepted me, blessed me and used me beyond my wildest dreams! I couldn’t have stayed that way. I eventually had to grow up in the faith. But God did it. I just had to keep my eyes, my focus on Him and do the practical things I knew to do to keep my eyes on Him. He does the changes. True change, restful, lasting, peaceful, fruitful change, comes from the Holy Spirit with us abiding in Christ Jesus.

I felt like God wanted me to share this with you today because I felt that God told me that there is someone out there that is struggling with focus. You’re focus is wrong. One of those people is me! We are focusing on what is wrong with our lives not what is right. What is good about you? What has God changed in you? What reminds you of your Father? Focus on God, on His wonder, His majesty, His glory, His forgiveness, His love, His greatness, His splendor, His purity, His beauty. You would think that focusing on God would make you feel guilty, but it actually brings you into a place of love and a feeling of love that you cannot explain that you see yourself through His eyes of beauty, and you see Him for who He really is….and nothing else seems to matter. If we could just live our lives in a shift of focus, we would see that God is the main character of this story and He could do in us what He is good at because we would be too busy worshiping Him to get in His way!

Look at me. Am I that person that I described that night? I’m not perfect. But, the reason I my life changed is because my focus changed. God changed my focus to falling in love with Him. Everything is just a byproduct of that love. If I love my family, I will not hurt them. If I love my husband, I will treat with kindness. If I love my children, I will show them respect. If I love my friends, I will not envy them. If I love myself, I will accept who I am because I am made in the image of my Father and bought by the blood of Jesus. If I love my God, I will worship Him for who He is, BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! You see, I may not be perfect, but I’m on my way. I can always look back at what I was and take encouragement at what I’ll become. You can too. That is why I am always encouraging you to fall in love with Jesus, spending time with Him daily, loving Him, knowing Him, that’s why I write these devotions, and try to help you hear from Him for yourself. What I have found out that over and over again, even this week in particular, that when our focus shifts, we begin to find ourselves focused even on ourselves for just a moment, we will always become depressed, condemned, overwhelmed, and discouraged. But when we become less, when we decrease and make Him increase, when He becomes the focus, and we realize that He has been the main character of the story all along and we are just part of the story, and it takes the pressure off and we find ourselves in Him.

By knowing Him, we find out who we really are because we see ourselves through His eyes like a mirror, a reflection of love. It’s simply amazing what a simple moment, a shift of focus from consuming ourselves in what we are not, what we cannot do and what do not have to what we are, have and can do that will change your life forever! So, give yourself some credit. Stop beating yourself up, as Joyce says, “I may not be where I want to be, but I’m sure not where I was”! Thank Jesus for the price He paid for you and the great work He’s done in your life. Take the time to celebrate that today! If you’ll take it one step at a time, one moment a time, and just do what you know, you’ll look back one day and not even recognize the woman or man that you’ve become! But God has seen it all along! As you read these two verses, below, watch and listen, worship to the video I have below. It has rocked my world this week! I think it purely reflects this message and I hope it blesses you and helps you enter the presence of Jesus…Take some time to enjoy your God and find yourself in Him.

Philippians 1:6

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

Hebrews 12:1-3

“Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us.

We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete. He endured the shame of being nailed to a cross, because he knew that later on he would be glad he did. Now he is seated at the right side of God's throne!

So keep your mind on Jesus, who put up with many insults from sinners. Then you won't get discouraged and give up.”

This blog's for you...

2010-02-18T14:04:00.002-06:00

We love Him, because He first loved us.

1 John 4:19

I had a hard time deciding this week over the title of this devotional. I knew what I was going to write about, but I have this thing about titles. I think they have to be catchy, funny, cute…so maybe you’ll read ‘em. (just being honest!) But then, I got a new this new IPhone for my birthday and I love it! I have wanted one forever! Well, not forever, because they haven’t been out forever, but at lease since they came out with them. I know they are really not that expensive, but the point is, we found a refurb and I was up for a renewal, we got a great deal and presto! I got a IPhone for my birfday! It’s my birfday! Gonna party in my pj’s cuz it’s my birfday (and I’m on bedrest) lol. I’m so excited! I’m addicted already! I can’t stop playing on it! It’s so much fun! Which brings me back to the title dilemma, you see, I have been so inclined this week to write the devotion called “Addicted to Love”, you know like the Tina Turner song? I think even Robert Palmer did a rendition of it. Which makes since because I’m obsessed with my IPhone, and not able to put it down, like when you fall in love for the first time, so I renamed the blog to the first line of the chorus, “I might as well face it I’m addicted to love-my iphone, that is ; )” cute, huh?

So while in my obsession, I was looking up my new app, Biblegateway.com (see I was using it for a good cause), I was reminded of where Jesus said in Revelation 3, “Return to your first love”. Remember how you were with your first love? Obsessed like I am with my IPhone? Kind-of like the lyrics of that Tina Turner/Robert Palmer song? If you don’t know them, take a “look-see” (that’s Cajun for read the following)…

Your lights are on, but you’re not home,

Your mind is not your own…

You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, There’s no doubt, You’re in deep

Your throat is tight, You can’t breathe,

another kiss is all you need!

Oh you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh yeah

It’s closer to the truth

You know you’re know you’re gonna have to face it…

You might as well face it

YOU'RE ADDICTED TO LOVE

Yeah, You might as well face it, you’re addicted to love

(Cue all the air guitars and air drummers here--haha) The point is, when we all start out with Jesus, with our spouses, with our kids, with our friends, we’re all like this….OBSESSED and CONSUMED, some might say, addicted to love! We pursue them, we talk for endless hours, we lose sleep, we look for ways we can bless them and are almost more blessed at the opportunity to bless them than they are being blessed! That’s where the cliché, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” came from, people get crazy in love!

I’m the worlds worst at keeping a gift for any length of time! It is one of my love languages. As soon as I get it, I have to give it to you or at least tell you what I got you! I get more excited about giving you the gift than you probably are about getting it! So your response is key (note to my friends). My husband is the worst gift receiver ever! While, I carry on like Ty Pennington has just “Moved that Bus”! LeJon opens a gift and goes, “Thanks babe”. Ughhh!

Still, I love to give! I pride myself on knowing what a person likes and personalizing gifts according to what they would like and no one else would think about giving them! I can’t just run to Wal-Mart and pick up something. I have to do something creative. I have to make something, create something, go on EBay, or at least customize it in someway. In fact, it is like cramming a dagger in my heart if I don’t have the time or money to give a really sentimental gift to someone. I would rather have the stomach flu or not do anything at all. And it's really bad when my checkbook doesn't match my lovebook! I always say that I am a millionaire in a poor woman's body!

As time goes by, passion fades, obsession dwindles and interests spark change. And today’s lesson isn’t about keeping that spark alive, even though I think we should, but you know that too, that’s why we aren’t going to talk about it, because we are going to celebrate you and what you are doing! We all know that in those moments when the kids and husband are bickering with you, we just don’t feel the spark, we feel distance or our friendships feel bland, we feel lonely, or the passion for our job/ministry that once drove us has faded, that’s the Holy Spirit giving us the opportunity to liven up our lives with fresh, contagious and all consuming fire through acts of love and service. We are the ones who actually create love for ourselves, because love abides in us. We can work ourselves into a frenzy of love, passion, strife, offense, contempt or just blahhhh. Which brings me back to you and the title of this week’s devotion…

This blog’s for you…

I want to blog all about what true love does when it’s done right, what it does to someone, how it pours in so they can pour out. When love’s done right, it seeps out, reflects, oozes, becomes contagious and ultimately consumes us. That’s why I changed the title… So to all my homies---is that how you spell it? I’m so white and countrified! This blog’s for you!

So I felt all week like God wanted me to talk about love, which I thought was a little cliché, being that it was the week of Valentines, and I felt Him direct me to read the book of I John. Can I say I wanted to just copy and paste the whole book? I wish I weren’t on bed-rest and could just get up and teach it verse by verse, line by line! There is so much there! But for the sake of the written word, we’ll start it with the verse that is our key verse for this blog… ”We love because he first loved us”, because that’s where it’s starts.

I have to tell you, I have been a total basket case over these last four months. I have seen the total spectrum of emotions, depression, determination, victory, faith, despair, back to hope, discouragement, elation, and at times, depending on what medication I was on….down right giddy! I’m not kidding, y’all! I told the doctor, I don’t know if that medicine was supposed to do that, but whatever kind of pain medicine he put me on at one point, had me thinking I was so funny that I had to restrain myself from Facebook. You know that old song back in the 90’s by Bobby Brown, “I talk to myself cause there is no one to talk to? People ask me why I do what I do?” Well, that was me! And frankly, I was cracking myself up! But there was no one here to appreciate my sense of humor! The medicine didn’t help the pain, but it sure did make me laugh! Good thing I had my best friend Jill to call, she thinks everything I say is funny, so I just called her.

That’s what friends do for you too in times like these. Through the pain, through the hard times, friends are like that pain medication. It might not be able remove the pain of whatever their friend is going through, but they can make be there, make them laugh, love them, cook a meal, just say hi. And the Bible says in Proverbs that " Laughter is good medicine for the soul" . That's what friends do. Sometimes you don't need to know what to say. Just be there. Say, "Hi, Love you. Just thinking about you. I'm praying for you. How are you?" Sometimes advice is needed, sometimes not. I've done lots of crying and lots of laughing. But at least because I've had the friends who loved me enough to ask, I was able.

My friends from high school, my party days, old work friends, Facebook, college buddies, calling me from all over the country worried about me, thinking everything is falling apart in my life. Here I am proudly able to say is that I’m absolutely blown away at how my friends, church, work and family have taken care of me and loved me through this. You see, it’s one thing to be sick for one week and get taken care of, but to be completely needy, bed-ridden and going on for 4 straight months! We’ve gotten a meal almost every night of the week the entire time! I get texted, facebooked, and emailed all day. My friends have come to hang out with me. It’s what has gotten me through this. With my birthday being this week and I can’t go out, my sweet friends took it upon themselves to throw me a slumber party since I can’t get out of bed this Friday! I can’t wait! I have been looking forward to it like a needy, leachy, pimple faced, unsocial kid who just been invited to hang out with the cool kids! Haha! See I told you I think I’m funny! Good thing is that not only will my best friend Jill be at the slumber party, but my friend Nikki will be there and she has the biggest and loudest laugh ever!! Like BAHHHHH-Hahhhh-HHAHHH! Ok, so it doesn’t translate in writing, but you know people like that! So even if I’m not funny, she’ll make me think I am! See what love does! See why this blog’s for you?

I wrote a devotion called “Will it be you” where I spoke of a moment in college when a college professor challenged me to write my own epitaph, one phrase that I would like to sum up my life, that I could base my life upon. It’s like the ultimate goal to live your life for and then striving to reach it. Like Paul, at the end of my life, this race, if I have attained this goal, I would have finished my race, and would be ready to receive the crown set before me. What was that epitaph, that goal? Basically this verse…”Because He loves me”, which I base on our verse for this week, “We love because He first loved us” (I Jn 4:19) I want everyone who has known me, all my friends, everyone I meet, by knowing me to have known that Jesus loves them more than life itself, just by knowing me and the way I live my life. It might have been by the way I smiled at them, or the way I loved them, or the way I befriended them, or showed them kindness. Whatever the case, I cannot do that without, first knowing love. I cannot give what I do not possess.

What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we're called children of God! That's who we really are. But that's also why the world doesn't recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who he is or what he's up to.

But friends, that's exactly who we are: children of God. And that's only the beginning. Who knows how we'll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we'll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus' life as a model for our own. (vs1-3msg)

I told a friend of mine from college the other day that I’m content about whatever state God has me in right now. Whenever He deems it time to “release me back into the world” (oh yeah---watch out), that is all His business, but I can’t wait! Not, because I’m chomping at the bit and un-content or being impatient or can’t find ways to be used here and now, but because those who have been given much, give much and I’ve been given so much love, so much grace, so much friendship. I’m about to explode! So if the devil’s intention was to “take me out of the game” or to “keep me quiet”, well….he made a big mistake! Because of the love of the God…because of the love of my friends….what the devil meant for bad, God meant for good, for the saving of many lives! Not that I can save, but I know the One that can! And I intend on giving what I have, and I’ve been given MUCH…much too much! I wish I had enough money and time to give each of you uniquely a personal gift that could show the depth of love and appreciation that I have for you and what you have done in my heart. But I’ll just borrow from Peter in Acts 3, “Silver and gold have I none, but what I have I give unto you”. I cannot wait to take the love I’ve been given and give it away! Yes, I will express it to you, to my family, to your kids, to your family, to our church, but more so than that, I will give it to the world. You may not see it here, but you will see your reward in heaven.

So as your friend, I want to give back to you, to continue to love, as you have done, not just to me, but those around you, and love yourself. They all go together, but not without the first. Love your God, let Him fill you, lavish you with His love. Receive it daily, hourly, minute by minute and then make a habit to give it away. We love because He first loved us. Love is an active thing. I want to end today encouraging you to do something for God, for yourself, and for each person in your life that you love this week. Write them down on a list and make sure you do it. I know this isn’t some divine revelation that you don’t already know, but I am telling you that it’s contagious, and if you catch it, it’s consuming and fresh. Thank you for loving me. That’s what this love thing is all about. Don’t worry so much on all your faults, focus on all the negatives, fears and what’s wrong. Focus on the love, how you can love your God, receive and then it away. It’s that simple. I think we hear it so much, we take it for granted, but love’s a powerful thing when used. Sometimes you see it, sometimes you don’t. But just keep on, keep lovin’ on! This blog’s for you!

We love Him, because He first loved us.

1 John 4:19

What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we'll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus' life as a model for our own.

1John 3:2- 3 Msg

Oops I spilled it again...

2010-02-11T11:58:00.013-06:00

I am poured out like water. Ps 22:14

Ok, so one benefit of not being able to do anything for myself lately is that my kids and husband have been having to learn to be more self sufficient. However, sitting back watching this transformation of my sweet and helpful hubby and kids has been at times comical, others…well, rather stressful, but always thankful. Like when they put up the dishes. Yes, they are all put up in the cabinets, just at times not in the right cabinets, and sometimes never to be found again. And the laundry…ooooooh the laundry! There are clorox stains on every towel that I own now. Almost everything has been shrunk in the dryer. And I’ve found my nightgowns in the drawer for my pants, my shirts in my sock drawer, and my undies, well, you don't need to know that. Please know that this is by no means an issue of complaint, but a sweet memory of my babies taking care of their mommy, leaving little surprises, like cats leaving their kill for their owners on the doorstep, sweet, but a little out of place. (Just kidding) On a side note, they have come a long way baby! This house is spotless! I couldn't ask for better kids and husband than the ones I got! But for the sake of a good story, I curtail, with the pain. Yes, pain. The pain that happened the morning that my instinct kicked in when my sweet baby girls tried to fix their own cereal with a new gallon of milk and I jumped up, and with my hands tried to stop the flood of milk from falling on my dining room upholstered chairs. What I want to know is…what exactly did I think would happen? Have you ever tried to catch liquid with your fingers? I realized quickly it wasn’t worth the pain of instinct to of trying to fight it.

So often we find ourselves like this. Our lives feel poured out…out of control, running off the edges, messing up everything around us and we’re trying to catch it with both hands to no avail, just stressed out because of it and yelling at anybody, “hurry up and get a paper towel!” Instead of selling you on the concept of “Bounty-the quicker picker upper”, and how God wants to help you clean up all the messes in your life, I want to tell you the beautiful story of a life poured out intentionally, over and over, letting it run its course, and give permission to get a little messy. This is the story of Mary and Jesus. Two lives poured out intentionally. He for her, her for Him. The greatest love story ever told.

We going to start our love story at the end of the story, skip to the beginning and end up in the middle, cuz that’s where the really good stuff is! We start at the home of Simon, the Leper. Yes, that’s how they referred to him, so obviously this man whose life was once defined negatively by a disease that kept him away from everyone is now "You are cordially invited to Simon, the Leper’s house”. In other words, Jesus was being given an invitation to a dinner party to celebrate the new life He had provided this man. The guests included the disciples, Martha was there (I’m sure she was busy throwing everybody’s paper plates away as soon as they put them down, even if weren’t finished eating), among others, and in walks Mary. She had just come from hearing Jesus speak of his death and return. She was late to the party and concerned. It seems she didn’t really understand why no one else was getting it. They were all eating and carrying on. That’s probably why she was late to the party. She had been listening to Jesus, heard what He was talking about. Heard this voice, you know, deep down, urging her to do something crazy. She didn't understand it. She just acted on it. A gesture of love for the love of her life. So she runs back to the house before going to Simon's house. I don't think she knew why she felt the need to do it, but God took that act of love and used it for His divine purpose.

So there they are. Jesus was reclining at the table. The Bible says that they had finished eating or were eating the meat portion of the meal, because Jesus was reclining. When Mary walks in with an alabaster box and a jar filled with expensive perfume, which is basically worth a year’s worth of wages and begins to pour it all over Jesus’ head, as we'll see in the Apostle Mark's version of the story below. The disciples and everyone in the room began to rebuke her. "Hasn't she been listening? Jesus, you have been telling us to feed the poor! She could have sold this and given the money to feed hundreds of people! What was she thinking! I don't know what message you were listening to, but Mary, you just crazy. And what are you doing wiping his feet with your hair? Get up! That's just gross! We are trying to eat here! Go 'head Jesus. Tell her. Tell her how crazy she is...Can somebody tell me what time of the month it is? Cuz this woman done lost her mind."

But Jesus said, " Let her alone. Why are you giving her a hard time? She has just done something wonderfully significant for me. You will have the poor with you every day for the rest of your lives. Whenever you feel like it, you can do something for them. Not so with me. She did what she could when she could—she pre-anointed my body for burial. And you can be sure that wherever in the whole world the Message is preached, what she just did is going to be talked about admiringly." Mark 14:6-9 (Msg)

Don't you know she wanted to say, "Excuse me, Sister Martha, do you have some crow we can feed my sweet friends the disciples? They seem to be lacking that in their diet." Just kidding. Now let's head to another dinner. This was a dinner at Mary and Martha’s house. This is probably the more popular version of Mary that we’ve been told. If there were a TMZ or tabloid journalism back then, this would be how she would be remembered. This is how the church has pegged her. From what it sounds like, this is probably towards the beginning, if not the start of the friendship that these two share, and yes, it’s at a dinner party. Mary and Martha seem to be the regular “socialites”.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, " Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

“Martha, Martha," the Lord answered," you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

Even though we’ve used her in parables as the one we should aspire to become like, we all inwardly know we feel like we understand Martha more. We can do Martha. Martha knows stuff has to get done and frankly, "if Mama, (I mean Martha) don't do it, it aint gettin done". To be honest, I think Mary is looked upon as the “lazy”, “unrealistic” or “unbalanced”. I’ve heard so many times when I've heard this story preached, “We aspire to have Mary, but you can’t just leave out Martha or no one would ever eat!” Truth is, Mary was a “Martha”, when it was required. Jesus had it correctly when He said, “one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better”. When everyone else at the end of the first scene (which is the last snapshot we get to see of them together) is sitting around “listening”, Mary was the one “doing” what was required and once again, gets rebuked for it, but once again, is defended by her friend, her Savior.

So how did Mary know when to act and when to sit and listen? How was she getting it right, when everyone else seemed to keep getting it wrong all the time? I believe the answer lies in another snapshot in a day in the life of these two friends. Jesus, Mary, Martha and Lazarus had apparently become close friends. You can see it in the way He speaks of them, the way the disciples speak of their conversation in how they interpret when they tell the story again in the gospels. They were all friends. And much like every set of friends, each has it’s special connection, piece of the puzzle, to add to the mix. I’m sure you’ve noticed in the gospel of John, the disciple John, constantly refers to himself as, “the disciple that Jesus loved”. It was how he was defined in that group. It may have been that they just “connected” or maybe he was able to “get Jesus” in a way that most of the others didn’t. Whatever it was, it was how he defined himself, and it is the same case in this set of friends as well. I believe Mary was defined as, “the friend that Jesus loved”. He loved all three, but there’s something about the way He loved Mary. Just watch and listen to how Jesus seeks her out, how each time He responds to her, the way the writer speaks about her, even the way the people respond to her and follow her....yes, there's something about Mary.....

A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair.

Her brother, Lazarus, was sick.

So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death.

No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.”

So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, he stayed where he was for the next two days.

Finally, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.”…

When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. Bethany was only a few miles down the road from Jerusalem and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss.

When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him.

But Mary stayed in the house.

Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”

Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.”

“Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.”

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?”

“Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.”

Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her,

“The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” So Mary immediately went to him.

Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there. When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them.

They told him, “Lord, come and see.”

Then Jesus wept.

The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!”

But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”

Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance.

“Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.

But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested,

“Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”

Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?”

So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said,

“Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.”

Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!”

And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth.

Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!”

Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen. John 11:1-45

In the next chapter of John, John gives us further details that not only did Mary pour the perfume on Jesus head, but she poured it on His feet and then wiped it with her hair! I found it so interesting that the story has so many characters that Jesus is teaching here, but only one of them that moves Him to stop and weep. This is just my opinion, but I don’t think the Son of God was weeping because His friend was dead, He knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. He had discussions about it with his disciples and Martha....Martha, Martha, Martha.

I believe He was irritated with Martha, because she was with her mouth professing her faith that He is the Son of God, that all He has to do is speak a word, but she is refusing to move the stone away for her own brother's miracle (what she begged Him for in the first place) due to the unpleasant , messy smell! You see, as much as I want to say I'm a Mary, I find that I'm probably more 80% Martha and only 20% Mary. I'm a snap to it, get the job done, kind of girl. Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOOOOVE my time with Jesus. I have my Mary disposition. But I hate the smell of a mess. I believe and declare till the cows come home, but will I move a stone if causes a leak?

Then there's Mary. She stays behind and Jesus is asking for her. I’m sure it’s because she was disappointed in her Friend, Jesus and He know it. Remember He was telling everyone what He was going to do, but He never told Mary. They sent word 4 days ago that her brother was sick. All things could have been avoided with just a word from her friend. She had seen and heard Him performing miracles by just speaking a word long distance! It was like miracles via world wide web! That’s why He asked for her. He knew she need Him to. He knew she needed her Friend more than her miracle, but He was going to give it to her anyway.

Notice, her response though. I believe it is key. She didn’t let her offense of Jesus' decision rob her from her miracle or her relationship with her Friend. As soon as she heard He was asking for her, she took off running. She didn’t go all Sunday-school, church face on Him, saying things like, “your will be done”. No, she was straight up, “I’m disappointed. If you would have been here, this wouldn’t have happened. Where were you? Why didn’t you come? I thought we were friends. I thought you loved me.” Notice, He had this long conversation with Martha, reassuring her that her brother would rise again. Not so with Mary. He sees her, asked where the body was, gets angry that Martha hasn’t moved the stinkin’ stone yet so He can get His friend out already and cannot take it anymore! We see the Son of God in totally human state....and He weeps, with His friend. You see every single time we see Jesus with Mary He responds this way. He is defending her, fighting for her, believing in her, praising her, honoring her….pouring himself out for her as well…

Just one week later in a room, at a dinner when Mary wasn’t invited, Jesus speaks these words to another set of friends, but I think He had Mary and that alabaster box of perfume on His mind when He said...

In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, " This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” Luke 22:20

Another disciple Matthew put it like this…

“This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” Matthew 26:28

He is doing the same for you. Life is always going to try to break you. You’re always going to have messes to clean up. But a life spilled out is a life worth having. I know it doesn’t sound fun, but we can walk in victory. God can take our mess and make it our message. I know not just because the Bible says so, but because I am a living example of a life poured out myself. It seems like every time I turn around, it’s something else. But you know what? I know as long as I pour my life out to God, He’ll pour Himself out to me and give me the strength and peace I need to walk through everything with victory! It’s not been easy, but I love Him all the more because of it. Listen to how Paul puts it…

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. and this hope will not lead to disappointment. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5

Instead of cleaning up the messes, and covering the smell, run to Jesus, right now. Fall at His feet; pour out whatever you have to give, all of it. Wipe your tears away with your hair. The more you try to stop the spill, the more you’ll break. Your life is intended for the overflow of God’s love. We all think of Mary and say to ourselves, “I know, I’ve got to make that 10% of Mary in my life”, satisfied with leaving the Martha. The point was, Mary got things done. She just had priorities. Pray without ceasing. Instead of listening to your normal morning show, listen to a worship CD. Be careful what you are watching on television, going to the movies to watch, what you’re TIVO’ing. Make the time for Him, His word, His HEART and His people. He wants all of you. Which means, you’ve got to go; it’s time to get spilled. It's time to get messy; it might get a little smelly. Are you going to worry about the spill, the mess, and the smell or are you going to receive your miracle? You ready?

I am grateful that God always makes it possible for Christ to lead us to victory. God also helps us spread the knowledge about Christ everywhere, and this knowledge is like the smell of perfume.

In fact, God thinks of us as a perfume that brings Christ to everyone. For people who are being saved, this perfume has a sweet smell and leads them to a better life.

2 Corinthians 2:14-16

Pray this Prayer:

Father, I pour myself before you today. All my sin, all my failure, all my dreams, all my hopes, all my desires, all my messes. I ask you to take them, cover them with your blood and make my life a life poured out for you, a living Message that I can do all things through Christ who gives me Strength! I give you 100% of all that I am. I praise you that I am but a fragrance of sweet perfume to You because of the blood of Jesus poured out for me. I commit to you today. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Are You Desperate Enough?

2010-02-04T11:51:00.002-06:00

"Yes, Lord," she said, " but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table." Matthew15:27

I have one question today for you…are you desperate enough? Have you ever heard the phrase “desperate times call for desperate measures”? Let’s just take the recent happenings in Haiti or even closer in our own backyard, Hurricane Katrina. Bringing food and water had to be planned meticulously because riots would break out if the supplies did not get distributed evenly and timely. Was it that the people were greedy? Absolutely not! These were mothers and fathers, even older brothers and sisters, trying to care for families’ basic needs such as food and water. But we all watched it, helplessly. Day after day. Can you imagine having to go 5 days after a disaster with your child hurt with no food, water, sanitation or shelter? No one blamed them for the tension that we knew was building. We felt it for them. At that point, after 5 days, did they care about a polite, politically correct, nice, orderly fashioned line to retrieve the supplies they needed? No! Desperation makes desperate people do desperate things. No one will fault them for that. On some level we all do desperate things everyday to get our way for our needs to met, not at these extremes of course, we’re just polite and politically correct about it. You’ve heard people say that you can look at your calendar and your checkbook and tell what a person’s priorities are. Well, priorities are based on needs, wants and desires. Everyone is reaching for something. What are you reaching for?

Well, our checkbook and time would reflect my health lately. Most of you know I haven’t been feeling well for a while, but really started going downhill back in October 09. I have seen more specialists than I can shake a stick at, ultimately to find out that it was an issue with my blood. Well, a few weeks ago, they decided to send me to a surgeon. While going over the results of my pre-operative test results, he stops mid-sentence and says, “I’m sure you know this story, but you’re kind-of like the woman with the issue of blood that met Jesus”. I sat there stunned. It was like Jesus had stopped again right there in that doctors office right here in the 21^st century and I was the woman…reaching, caught in the act of desperation, pushing through the crowds, reaching for and….touching the fringe of His garment, and after all the doctors, and all this time, with all the patients crowding around Him, and I’m sure more pressing concerns than mine, pushing their way, desperately trying to get an answer….and Jesus stops and says to me, in that doctors office and asks, “Who touched me? I felt power leave Me. Go and be healed”. You see, it wasn’t that doctor. It wasn’t the surgery. It wasn’t anything, but Jesus. I know my Shepherds voice, and I heard it that day in that office. I went back and read the story again in every gospel that the story is told. I’ve read it so many times, but it was like reading it again for the first time every time I read it, because He spoke! It’s amazing how God’s word is alive and active and if you’re desperate enough….I have got to repeat myself again to you again....IF YOU’RE DESPERATE ENOUGH, He’ll stop for you too, even when He’s got “more important things going on”. Are you desperate enough to reach out for His hem one more time?

There’s another woman who struck me as desperate enough in Matthew 15. Jesus was just talking to the religious leaders about how they were so concerned with their traditions and “looking nice, polite, and godly” about when and what they ate, in particular why the disciples did not wash their hands before they ate! Who gives a flying flip? Ok, so the Son of God, The Messiah, is standing in front of you and all you want to talk about is polite manners at the dinner table? You know Jesus had to have a looked of stunned silence on His holy face. He had to have been holding back holy laughter, not to have laughed in their little bratty faces! Are you kidding me? This is what you have to talk about? I want to know what in the world does that had to do with relationship with God? I’m sure that was Jesus’ point, but they weren’t getting it. So he decides to move on.

I love how the Bible says that Jesus “withdrew” from them. So here is Jesus “withdrawing” himself from “the proper crowd” who has “it” all and are acting like a bunch of spiritual “trust fund brats” and comes upon a woman from Canaan. Remember the Canaanites, like from David and Goliath? Yeah, those Canaanites! This woman knew she didn’t have a leg to stand on…or beg on for that matter, but love + desperation will cause you not to care what you are supposed to do, it will cause you to beg for whatever you can get, even if you don’t deserve it! I love that!

Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, " Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."

Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, " Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."

He answered, " I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel."

The woman came and knelt before him. " Lord, help me!" she said.

He replied, " It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."

" Yes, Lord," she said, " but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

Then Jesus answered, " Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. Matthew 15:21-28

I wish I could say I was like the woman here, but unfortunately, I find that I am more times than not I am like the religious leaders. Like these religious leaders, the Son of God, the Messiah is standing here in our presence, every morning, every moment, right now, and we’re acting like a bunch of trust fund brats because we know He’ll be here when we have time to make for Him. Sleep was more important this morning, because staying up late last night was more important. Oh we went to church and sang the songs. We even served where we are gifted, but did we do it in desperation of soul or as in inherited trust fund duty?

What is the level of our passion? Notice those in the gospels the desperation of passion that grab the heart of Jesus. It’s those who aren’t afraid to get down and dirty with the Lord. It’s those who aren’t afraid to look a little foolish, as long as they get their one moment with the King of Kings. You got the woman who washed His feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You have lepers, the blind and deaf who are constantly following him screaming out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” and don’t shut up until He does gives them what they want. You have the woman with the issue of blood, crawling on the ground, getting stepped on, the friends who actually scaled a house removed a roof and lowered their friend down into a house, all because they wouldn’t take no for an answer! And then here we are too busy or we’re even too timid in private to be “more undignified than this” to look a little foolish for our King. Well, if we can’t do it in private, we certainly won’t do it in public. That’s why we have to start in the morning and end in the evening.

I want a desperate hunger and thirst for God. I want to my soul to cry out for the heart and things of God so hard that if He’ll just look my way but for a second, it’ll be enough! But I don’t want to it to stop there! I want to keep screaming at the top of my lungs! “Jesus, Son of David! Have mercy on us! Rain down on US!!!! Send your fire on us!!!! Pour out Your Spirit on us Oh God! We thirst for You!!!” There is something to the people that met Jesus on his journey, go back and listen to their desperation. If we could only learn the secret of God is to be desperate enough to know “that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD” (Deut 8:3). Whatever it is that you think you have to have, you don’t need! It’s not what you’ve been looking for! You’re soul is crying out for your Maker, your God alone! You are trying so desperately to be good enough, cool enough, proper enough, favored enough to sit at these earthly king’s tables, being courted by your bosses for the promotions, trying so hard to get in to the social circles so you can feel accepted. But your acceptance will fall empty in anything apart from God. Let’s be like this woman. I don’t care where I get fed from the Master, at the King’s table, or under the king’s table. I just want to be fed by the King! I just want to stay desperate enough to say, “However you choose to give it to me, Lord, just give it to me! As long as it’s from Your holy hand, I’ll take it because it’s satisfies!” I don’t need the accolades. I don’t need the title. I don’t need the approval of man. I don’t need anything but what Your hand feeds me, and You can slip it under the table, Sir! Cause You feed me in the presence of my enemies! You set a table before me! You hide me in the shadow of Your wings! You place a crown of beauty and splendor upon my head! I don’t need anything when I have You!”

Our desperation comes not as a whipped puppy cowering before our master begging for something that we do not have the right to possess, but there is a common thread in these two desperate women. The woman with the issue of blood and the Canaanite woman who came begging Jesus for something they did not deserve…They both knew that just a crumb or a touch from the Jesus would meet their need. Over and over again God’s word says that it takes just a grain of faith, just a mustard seed of faith to move mountains, yet we complicate things so much. We make it so hard. We pray and pray. We think that we have to have this great faith to see our prayers answers. I believe, it’s because we’re not desperate enough to look a little foolish, to take the crumbs from under the table, to crawl through the filthy ground and get stepped on, bleeding, humiliated, for just a touch from the hem of His garment. Have you ever thought about what if she missed Him that day? If she only touched the hem, that’s a close margin of error…what if she’d missed? These women were acted in desperation because they could not let a God moment pass because they couldn’t risk the chance it would return. You and I let them pass all the time, everyday, like the religious leaders because we know He’s always there. He’ll be back. That’s the difference in the desperation. We, like the religious leaders have to be careful not treat our inheritance like trust fund brats. Instead we need to become desperate, like David to say…

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? Psalm 42:2

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Psalm 143:6

Like Isaiah…

My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgments come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness. Isaiah 26:9

Or Like Paul…

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings... Philippians 3:10

But it’s still takes one touch, one moment, one word, if you’re desperate enough. One desperate cry from a child of God who cannot take it anymore, it’s the same Jesus, every morning…whose mercies are new…desperately just for you.

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18

You see, that's just it...He's just as desperate for you! Remember? " For God sooooooooo loved the world that he gave his only Son that whosoever believes on Him would not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16.

This week, I ask you, what are you desperate for? What are you reaching for? Cry out to God for a fresh desperation to be fed by His Hand, desperate to be touched by this power, and desperate to reach out to those who cannot reach out for themselves. Be fully committed to be desperately passionate about every moment, not as an inherited right, but as an honored, cherished, precious moment with the Beloved Lover of your Soul.

But I don't want that one....I want THAT ONE!!!!

2010-01-22T16:41:00.003-06:00

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11b-13

Ok, so I have a confession to make. I didn’t write a devotion last week because I couldn’t. I didn’t know why. I am starting to feel better. There is absolutely no reason for me to be feeling like this spiritually, but there was this nagging feeling…that I just couldn’t push past. It was like bitterness down in my soul, like I was mad at myself, at God, at everybody, for something, for everything. I don’t have anything to be mad about and everything to be thankful for. So, I just kept ignoring it and pushing it down, but it kept getting harder and harder to spend time with God. Then it hit me like a freight train……I can’t believe I had not seen it all these years! It was so hidden so far back, I never would have gotten to it, had He not “hidden me away” for this time to quiet me and make me so bored out of my mind, that I stumbled over it! Ugghhhhh! I can’t believe I’ve missed it…that I’ve missed the point of Him for all this time…ahhhh!!!!! well, you’ll see. Let’s get started.

So last devotion we talked about who we see in the mirror, and letting God speak to us about who He designed us to be and seeing ourselves in that image. Well, this week, we are going to talk about taking whatever the person, dream, gift or name God has given you for who you what is as perfectly designed, destined and completely equipped and fully accepting it with thankfulness. It’s harder than you think. But, you’ll see that in a minute.

I really didn’t think that I had a problem with this. I love who God has made me. I love the gifts that He has given me and so thankful for the life that I have. However, I realized that this nagging feeling was me scared to admit that I was mad; mad at myself for being mad at God. I was mad at myself for being mad at everybody for having the ministry I want, the miraculous timely healing I want, the income I want, the body I want, the life I want, or the influence I want. The thing is I'm mad at no one in particular. I'm so mad at how utterly ridiculous and juvenile my feelings are and I don't know why I feel this way! Since I couldn't shake it, I figured I would face it and let God due surgery on my heart before doing surgery on my body next week. Might as well get it all over with! I know it’s not something anyone wants to admit, I didn’t want to admit it to myself or even God, much less to anyone else. I'm so embarrassed to even admit that I even had this to deal with, but the truth is, we all go through this. Jesus said that it’s when we know the truth that the truth sets us free. So can you handle the truth? Haha. We all want what others have. The grass always seems greener on the other side, even when we know they have poop in their grass too. So how do we see forgive ourselves and God for unfulfilled, self-inflicted expectations, hopes and dreams and live simply, in confidence, in what we’ve already got, and in who we supernaturally lovely God-given skin we're in?

“But that’s not fair, He got what I want!”

I guess what was hardest for me was the knowing that I shouldn’t have felt this way. It’s so frustrating to know that you should not be feeling and what you actually feel. The Apostle Paul knew this feeling too. In Romans, Paul openly confesses the war between his spirit and flesh.

I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right,

but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right,

I inevitably do what is wrong.

I love God’s law with all my heart.

But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.

This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.

Oh, what a miserable person I am!

Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?

Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.

So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law,

but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. Romans 7:15; 21-25

Ok…so this was the APOSTLE PAUL people!!!!! I mean, come on, he was torn up about the same things that you and I are spending so much time with trying to hide with our “Sunday school faces” on. Who are we trying to fool here? I think, like Paul, if we’ll start being more transparent with not only ourselves, but others, and to God, we’ll stop giving off the impression of being a perfect church and being "the church saved by grace of Jesus", which is what we are, we’ll start reaching a lot more people and probably need a whole lot less anti-anxiety medications! Lol! But we as a church society have put this self-inflicted image on ourselves that is absolutely unobtainable! We keep putting ourselves under a law that Jesus died to take away, then throw some designer label and makeup on it and call it "our Sunday best" and everybody thinks it ok. No wonder the world runs from us and people would rather be hypocrites living in sin than reach out to their “brothers and sisters” in the Lord. We’d crucify them! Shoot, we crucify ourselves in private if we even think something that is something remotely politically incorrect or un-fashionable. No wonder we don't trust each other! If it’s going to hurt our “bottom line”, than we aren’t going to risk it. But that's where we’ve got to be careful. Don't let your pride, your ego, your image of what could have been, should have been....don't let anything get in the way of your relationship with Jesus.

Look at John the Baptist. Even he had moments of weakness and doubt. From the womb, he knew exactly who he was and to Whom he was called to. Every moment, every breath, even down to everything he ate drank and wore, it was all for Jesus. Yet, here he was by himself, in a filthy jail, about to be beheaded; Jesus is out teaching in the towns, hanging out with his disciples, doing His own thing. So John the Baptist sent to word to Jesus,

“Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?"

And Jesus answered them, " Go and tell John what you hear and see:

the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear,

and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them.

And blessed is the one who is not offended by me." Matthew 11:3-6

Why did Jesus instruct John not to be offended by Him? Why didn’t Jesus stop what He was doing and go rescue his friend or just speak a word and send an earthquake or send an angel to rescue John like He did for His other friends in Acts? Surely Jesus could have done something besides tell him not to be offended!? Really? That’s the best you got? His answer to John saying, “I’ve devoted my whole life to you, now they are about to take my head off. Can you give me some sign that you haven’t forgotten me by hangin with your new boys and get me outta here!” But Jesus knew that. Jesus actually did give John a sign. Jesus reminded him of John's divine purpose for being created on this earth. Go back and read it again. It's from the book of Isaiah. John would have understood. He'd known it since birth. He just needed his friend, Jesus, the Prince of Peace to remind him of it, even in the face of death. Jesus knew better than anyone what His friend was going through. Jesus what God's will was in the situation and He knew that all John needed was the peace to know he was right all along. His peace would come from knowing who he was and who Jesus was. It was like Jesus was telling John, "Well, done, my good and faithful friend. Go, and enjoy your reward."

I’m sure Paul asked the same thing in his cell when he was writing to the Philippians. You see, we read the “Book of Philippians” from “The Apostle Paul”, but when I read his letters (because that is what he had intended for them to be), I hear a lonely man, an outcast from his piers. A man, who even though was “an apostle” by our standards, never ran with the apostle crowd. He was actually called to a totally different people than the other 11 apostles. What a lonely place to be in. Do you think he ever thought of the times he had heard about the other apostles being rescued constantly by angles, earthquakes and signs and wonders, especially while he was being beaten? Oh, I’m sure he was happy for them. Paul had his share of miracles too, but do you think there was that little bit of something there, way down deep….Do you think that ever ran through Paul’s mind? You know the compare game? Do you think he ever struggled with God over envying their gifts, their ministries, their friendships? We know Paul ultimately didn’t let it overtake him, but you got to know it crossed his mind…all those years, months, weeks, hours, minutes, in and out of those jails. I wonder what expectation, what dreams did he have to get over to get to these verses in Philippians chapter 4?

⁴Always be glad because of the Lord! I will say it again: Be glad. ⁵Always be gentle with others. The Lord will soon be here. ⁶Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. ⁷Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.

⁸Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don't ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise. ⁹You know the teachings I gave you, and you know what you heard me say and saw me do. So follow my example. And God, who gives peace, will be with you...

¹¹I am not complaining about having too little. I have learned to be satisfied with whatever I have. ¹²I know what it is to be poor or to have plenty, and I have lived under all kinds of conditions. I know what it means to be full or to be hungry, to have too much or too little. ¹³Christ gives me the strength to face anything. (ESV)

You see, the point is, that I’ve been missing it the whole time. The secret of contentment…the secret to have the strength to face anything is to whom I belong to in the first place! I am not my own. Those dreams I had for myself, those images I had that didn’t match up, the expectations that I was getting mad about because they weren’t panning out the way I thought they should….they weren’t mine to begin with. I was claiming rights that I shouldn’t have been claiming in the first place. You see, envy, jealousy and offense are simply passive aggressive ways to deal with our disappointment over unattained dreams and goals. Let’s get back to the Apostle Paul ripping my HEART OUT OF MY CHEST!!!!!

Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love?

Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?

Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others.

Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.

Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;

he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.

When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God

and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor

and gave him the name above all other names,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

You see, we are geared to exalt ourselves, to go the extra mile in education, step on the little guy, be competitive, alpha dog, do whatever it takes to “be the best” and get to the top. But God’s way is actually the opposite of what our flesh is wired to do. That’s what Paul was talking about with warring within our souls. Everything in us screams out to fight to increase our portfolios, our friends, our influence, our possessions, our visions, our wants, our desires, to be the best…but that means someone has to be the worst. God wants the best for us too. God wants us to be like Him. To be like Him, we have to be focused on exalting others, not ourselves. It’s great to be excellent. But let's be excellent at exalting God and others. Let's be passionate the vision and heart of God, the passion of others, exalting and giving credit to someone else, even when we deserve the credit.

I know what you’re feeling right now. Probably like poo like I do over all the offense and selfishness I found stuffed in closet of my heart. I have failed this test so many times. But, John the Baptist went through this too, so we’re in good company. Oh, he passed the test the first time, when his friends tried to make it about competition between John and Jesus, John said, “He must increase, I must decrease”. But, when John was stuck in jail, and Jesus was out with his “new friends” the “disciples”, it got to him. At some point, it got to Paul, hince the whole, "what a wretched man I am" and "I am the chief of all sinners" deal. You see, this isn’t something you’re going to pray a prayer about today and never deal with again. You and I are always going to be dealing with this, but with this as long as we are here on earth. However, to know what we’re fighting and the weapons that we are fighting with will help us win the war!

In “The Message” version of the Bible, Paul speaks in Galatians 2 (I love this). Listen how different he sounds later in life after he’s done a round or two in the ring…

Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?)…

What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God,

and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man.

Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it.

I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ.

My ego is no longer central.

It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you

or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God.

Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine,"

but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

I am not going to go back on that.

What we have to do is the same as what Jesus instructed His disciples way back when…”If anyone be in Christ, he must deny himself, take up His cross and follow Me”. That means, all those hopes and dreams, self portraits, self…well everything…hand it over. Let it go. If you continue to hang on to them, they’ll continue to offend you and cause you to stumble. If you’ll just let go and fall back into the arms of God, you’ll find the rest you’ve been longing for and you find "the real you" anyway. You know, the one that got lost in all the “keep up with the Jones' you” that you lost a long time ago? He made you just the way He wanted you and needs you to be. He’s equipped you with everything you need. He’s not waiting for you to get the promotion for Him to be able to use you. He doesn’t need you to be married before He can provide you the love that you’re heart has been looking for. You don’t need that extra income to make it to payday. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. He’s already given you everything you need. You’ve got gold in them there hills! It’s never been about the ministry. It’s never been about the dream. It’s never been about the goal. It’s always been about you.

Whatever you’re going through, right now, get honest with God. Just lay it all out there. Snot it out. Just you and Jesus. Ask Him if there is any jealousy, envy or offense might have taken root in your life in anyway. Ask Him if your heart has been let down by dreams that haven’t come true, goals that haven’t been met, visions that aren’t gonna ever be a reality. He knows how disappointed you feel. He understands and wants to help you grow closer to Him through it and help you find your real dream. Take the rest of the week and read the book of Philippians. If you need more, read Galatians. Let’s redirect our dreams, visions, goals on relationship with Jesus. I know that’s not the most exciting messages I’ve given, but I think it’s one of the most important. I love you guys. I hope your heart finds the healing it’s been needing.

Pray this prayer:

Father, I pray that you would reveal to me any offense, jealousy, or envy that has crept in my heart so that I can confess it to you and receive your healing. I confess my disappointment to You. I am sorry for being offended by You. Jesus, fill me with your Holy Spirit so that I can decrease and You can increase in my life. Take all my dreams, all my expectations, all my hopes and redirect them to Yours. Your word says that without vision, people perish. I’m asking You to show me Your vision, dreams and plans for my life. Thank you You have a plan for me, that my steps have been ordained and ordered by You. You have planned them out for me and love me enough to walk with me and guide me as You do life with me. Help me to fall in love with you more and more everyday. Draw me close to Your heart today. Thank you for loving me and being so patient with me. Heal my heart. Your grace is more than enough for me. I am Yours. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

‘Mirror, mirror on the wall’…’Honey, something’s wrong with this mirror ‘cuz that ain't me at all!’

2010-01-09T07:29:00.010-06:00

" One will say, 'I am the Lord's'...

and another will write (even brand or tattoo)
upon his hand, 'I am the Lord's'." Is 44:5

I remember growing up singing with my hairbrush in front of my mirror, dressing up and acting out “scenes” that would make me a famous star one day in my mirror and of course, who can forget all the “tongue lashings” and clever one-liners that I have thought of in my rear-view mirror. 'They' better just be glad I never had the courage I that I have when I am alone in my mirror! lol! When I was little, being the little drama queen that I am, I even would watch myself cry in front of the mirror. I would stare at myself for hours as a teenager in the mirror determining what I would change and what I admired in that mirror. You see me and this mirror have a long-standing relationship, one that goes back since I was a little princess. Like most relationships, we’ve seen ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad, sick times and healthy, kind of like a marriage relationship, I’ll have to look at it everyday until the day I die…so it’ll be nicer if we had a healthier relationship until that point. Don’t ya think?

We all love the fairytale story of Snow White growing up with the Evil Queen asking of the Magic Mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all?” To which the mirror replied, “Snow White, of course, you old bag!” (my interpretation) The point is, the evil queen didn’t want to know the truth, she was looking to hear what she wanted to hear. We spend so much money and time in the mirror with flat irons, blow-dryers and make-up trying to make ourselves the fairest of them all. And when we ask our husbands the age old question after all that hard work, “Ok, so how do I look?” We don’t really want to know his true response! We, like the evil queen, want to be the FAIREST STINKIN PRINCESS OF THEM ALL!!!! and…queue music…la, la, la, la, la

I love the statement, “Mirrors don’t lie” because I bid to you that they do! Oh, I know in principle the mirrors themselves don’t, but it’s in the image that is being portrayed back at us, our perception of ourselves that can lie. Mirrors can be a bit daunting. Every time I get pregnant, I would get would I like to call the "pregnant nose". Before any other part of my body starts to show, my nose does. It's like my nose, not my uterus, needs all the fluid in my body! It would actually shock me every time I would look in the mirror because I would always remember my face and my nose being a whole lot thinner than what I was currently seeing in the mirror. I even remember going in for my post natal visit to the ob and she even did not recognize me! She joked about me being "one of those women". heheheheh! I am laughing sarcastically right now if you can't tell! We've all been there. Maybe not with pregnant nose, but "Hey, where'd that wrinkle come from?" "Well, that hair is not supposed to be there!" "WHO SHRUNK THESE JEANS AGAIN!!!! THAT'S IT! HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL!!!" I've come to bring peace back into your home! It's not the laundry detergent's fault and your husband hasn't been washing your clothes in hot water again. Just kidding, he has. You're really skinny. Who loves ya baby?!

But, I would like to pose a question. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? What words would you describe yourself? What names would you give yourself? What names have been given to you that you just can’t see past? Do you see former glory, former love, what if I'd done this, what I'd made that decision? What do you see that is not allowing you to see what God sees when He’s looking at you in the same mirror?

I’m reminded of the Samaritan woman that met Jesus at the well. Rejected by her own people because of her ‘neck of the woods’ and because of her lifestyle, she just did what she knew. You can’t live outside of what you believe yourself to be. When she looked in the mirror, she saw an adulteress with 5 prior husbands, living with another man who she wasn't married to, a Samaritan woman living in poverty who couldn’t keep a husband if she shackled him to both feet. When she looked in the mirror, she knew why the Jews wanted nothing to do with her, maybe not her neighbors they were good people, but her, yes-she deserved the looks. “Just look at me,’ she’d think every morning as she’d wash her face, ‘how did I end up like this? This isn’t how I saw myself. I just wanted to find love, but look what love did to me.' She looks in the mirror again because the tears kinda hurt from the bruised eyes and swollen skin. 'God must be so disappointed. I know I am.” And she makes her way to Jacob's well. What I find was interesting is that in one text it says that Jesus ‘made His way through to Samaria’. Is 43:18-19 says,

" Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

We know now that Isaiah was prophesying about Jesus here. Do you think that is why He was ‘had to go through Samaria’ that day? Do you think it’s why He chose her that morning? Do you think God heard her cry that morning in the mirror and ran to her rescue? Do you think He remembered this promise in Isaiah and sent the stream in the desert to her? He was about to make her forget everything she ever did! Oh she’d remember, but not with the pain. I remember the births of my babies, but not the pain. I remember the pain in light of the birth, in light of the blessing, the joy...

" a Samaritan woman came to draw water from the well.

Jesus asked her, " Would you please give me a drink of water?"

" You are a Jew," she replied, " and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink of water when Jews and Samaritans won't have anything to do with each other?"

Jesus answered, " You don't know what God wants to give you, and you don't know who is asking you for a drink. If you did, you would ask me for the water that gives life."

" Sir," the woman said, " you don't even have a bucket, and the well is deep. Where are you going to get this life-giving water? Our ancestor Jacob dug this well for us, and his family and animals got water from it. Are you greater than Jacob?"

Jesus answered, " Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again. But no one who drinks the water I give will ever be thirsty again. The water I give is like a flowing fountain that gives eternal life."

The woman replied, " Sir, please give me a drink of that water! Then I won't get thirsty and have to come to this well again."

Jesus told her, " Go and bring your husband."

The woman answered, " I don't have a husband."

" That's right," Jesus replied, " you're telling the truth. You don't have a husband. You have already been married five times, and the man you are now living with isn't your husband."

The woman said, " Sir, I can see that you are a prophet. My ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews say Jerusalem is the only place to worship."

Jesus said to her: ‘Believe me, the time is coming when you won't worship the Father either on this mountain or in Jerusalem. You Samaritans don't really know the one you worship. But we Jews do know the God we worship, and by using us, God will save the world. But a time is coming, and it is already here! Even now the true worshipers are being led by the Spirit to worship the Father according to the truth. These are the ones the Father is seeking to worship him. God is Spirit, and those who worship God must be led by the Spirit to worship him according to the truth.’

The woman said, " I know that the Messiah will come. He is the one we call Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."

" I am that one," Jesus told her, " and I am speaking to you now" …

“Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony,

" He told me everything I ever did."

So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days.

And because of his words many more became believers.

They said to the woman, " We no longer believe just because of what you said;

now we have heard for ourselves,

and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world." John 4:8-26; 39-42

Wow! What an amazing story of love and redemption. Talk about a fairytale story! All Jesus needed was a white horse! Not only that, but Jesus was about to save an entire race of people who had rightfully been rejected by their own people and by their God. They were living out the consequence of their sin. Yet, their Savior in all His mercy and love for them had come to save them in spite of their sin because He saw them for who He was. Their sin didn't change who Jesus was when 'He had to go through to Samaria'. Their Messiah was here and He needed a Messenger. Guess who He foreknew? Guess who He chose before she was in her mother's womb? Guess that's why 'He had to go through to Samaria'. It was an adulteress woman, the one who could not even see herself through her own eyes anymore! You see, we see salvation at work here! We, like the Samaritan woman, have an encounter with Jesus. We feel the holiness of God vs. our own sinful nature. He offers us salvation as a free gift, we receive, we are changed, we get so excited, we tell everybody, they see the change in us, they have to check it out, they see for themselves, invite Jesus in for a bit and experience Jesus, He saves them, He changes them, they tell others, and so on and so on, the cycle continues. That is you being an evangelist! That’s the gospel spreading all throughout the earth! We all can’t be Joyce Meyer, T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen, Brian Houston, Dino Rizzo and Billy Graham’s. But we can be ourselves, a perfect reflection of Jesus to the world.

You have been begging God to use you, not feeling worthy, not feeling like He could ever use someone like you, but if He can use a woman just because she said yes in her mess, what can He do through you in yours? Just look in the mirror! You might not see possibility, but nothing is impossible with God! You might just see a mess, but just say yes! He'll start using you, changing you right now, today! Nothing will replace saying yes to Jesus, taking His name, seeing ourselves through His eyes and walking a mile in His shoes through His power. She met Jesus, said yes, and that’s it! If God would do all that in a moment through a simple yes, what can He do in this moment through you?

Notice, she didn't forget where she came from, or try to hide in shame, she was flat out telling everybody, " He told me everything I'd ever done!" In other words, "Look what He's made me!" She was proud to show off her fat pants now that she was skinny! Don't hide from your past. Look yourself straight in the mirror, get honest with yourself and God. Forgive yourself, because God already has, and just be who you are in Christ! You might think that you don't even know who you are anymore, but God does and He'll use you! So show off those fat pants girl! Get into those skinny jeans boy! (shout out to all my HPC guys-haha) Under all that makeup, beneath all that pain, under the smile, no matter where you are, Jesus hasn’t lost you. He knows exactly where you are and He 's been waiting for you by the well.

There’s a verse in Isaiah 62:2 that says, “you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.” It’s one thing for God to call you by a new name, but it’s another for you to take it. That is why I like our main scripture text this week, “One will say, I am the Lord's...and another will write [even brand or tattoo] upon his hand, I am the Lord's...” Will you ask the Lord what name He calls you by and take His name? Will you begin to see yourself by your new name? How will it effect your posture? How will it affect your mood? How will it affect your relationships? How will it affect you?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

For now we see in a mirror dimly,

but then face to face.

Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,

even as I have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:12

“Just go with what I told you”

2009-12-29T15:01:00.007-06:00

" but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” John 9:3b

When all this first started a couple of months ago…all the dizziness, the chest pains, the breathing problems, the exhaustion, the symptoms piling up one by one, getting worse day by day, I remember the morning. It was a Sunday morning 4am, I stumbled to the bathroom to start my day about to go to go to the living room to make myself a cup of coffee and have some time with Jesus before getting ready to go to church, when it started again. I tried to shrug it off, the dizziness, the pain, but here I go, I passed out, right there on the floor. Now up until this point, for about 6 weeks, I had total peace. I knew that this would all pass. I made myself go to work with a smile and tried not to let anyone notice. I figured that it was no big deal, I just didn’t feel well. I would be fine in a day or so. But in that moment, at 4am on a Sunday morning, lying on the bathroom floor in the dark, I got scared and asked God, “Should I be worried?”

Immediately, I heard Jesus reminding me of scriptures all throughout the Bible encouraging me. Then I heard Him, not audibly of course, but just in my heart and in my soul. You know how the Bible says, “My sheep know my voice”? Well, it was Him, my Savior. He was so sweet. He just said, “I’m doing something bigger than you right now. I’m going to heal you. I just need you to trust me. I got this.” So I did. I rested in that, right there on the bathroom floor.

Now the journey since then has been one like that of Job’s, you know in the Bible? I started off with this peace, but somehow, with the deepest of peace and trust, at times find myself thinking with all the doctors, with every test, with every new symptom, with every new day, “How in the world can this be bigger than me if they can’t find anything wrong with me to fix and get my supernatural healing that blows everyone away?” “How can you do anything with me if I’m stuck here in this house with no one for you to use me with?” I just don’t understand at times. I think, “Maybe this was the devil who took me out. God was using me so mightily, everywhere I turned around, God was using me and the devil was mad, so he took me out” then God reminds me of what He told me on the bathroom floor. It suddenly knocks me off my high and mighty and puts God back on the high and mighty.

He does give me moments though, for which I hold on to with so much appreciation that I think my heart will explode! Oh to be used by my Savior! Like yesterday, at the doctor. There was this little old man that reminded me so much of my Pappaw, how he used to dress up to go to the doctor with his slacks and dress shirt, all tucked in, with his bag of meds. I had my head resting on LeJon’s shoulder with my eyes closed because I could barely hold my head up when I overheard him discussing his Medicare co-pay with the front desk clerk and how his social security check wouldn’t go through until the 30th. He was trying to arrange with her a way to pay because all he had was $8.00 to his name and she was telling him she was going to have to reschedule if he couldn’t pay. Suddenly, it was like I had the strength of Samson! I found myself leaping out of my chair with my wallet in hand to try to get to him before he left so that he could see the doctor. When I got up there, his co-pay was only $12.00, but as I left the doctor, I held that receipt in my hand with so much gratitude to God for the opportunity that He gave me a chance to have in that moment to be used again. I’ve never been so thankful for a $12.00 receipt in my life!

Then you would be surprised at the “Well, since I prayed for you and you're not healed, it must be your fault” you get when you go through what I like to call a “pot-roast” healing. You know the ones that don’t happen in our time frame? It has ended up making me question Jesus like the disciples did the blind man in John chapter 9

“As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth.

His disciples asked him, " Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

But Jesus’ response was to the disciples just as it was to me on the bathroom floor…

" Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus,

"but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

You see, there are times in life, we are not going to understand what or why God is doing things. But one thing I do know is that we can be assured that God will be displayed in your life if you let Him.

If you have been reading these devotions at any length of time, you know how much God speaks to me through the book of Isaiah. I don’t know why, but He always leads me back to it. A couple of mornings ago, I woke up and felt like He was telling me to read…guess where? You got it! Isaiah 40! Well I have this little pink Bible that I have that fits in my purse that has the smallest writing EVER!!!!! So on one page you can read like 15 chapters (just kidding). However, when I went to read Isaiah 40 (which I’ve done like 3 different devotions on), but the heading to chapter 38 caught my attention. It read: “Hezekiah’s Sickness and Recovery”. So I started to read…

“In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, " This is what the LORD says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover."

What? Ok…not liking where this is going…

Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the LORD, " Remember, O LORD, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes." And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

Then the word of the LORD came to Isaiah: " Go and tell Hezekiah, 'This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will add fifteen years to your life. And I will deliver you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria. I will defend this city.

Ok, so we’re not taking this literally here that God is telling me He’s only adding fifteen years to my life! Haha. But get this: Hezekiah starts to pray this long prayer after this and basically from his prayer we learn that he was a middle aged leader of God’s people who was in a lot of pain, dizzy, weak, and exhausted and stressed out because he had people depending on him. Not only was he sick, but his kingdom was in jeopardy by Assyria, the largest empire in the world at the time. Do you know what this means to me? That when we read Isaiah 40 and God is comforting His people through Isaiah and this was the context! He was literally encouraging His physically, emotionally, and spiritually weak leader and people here when He said:

Encourage my people! Give them comfort...

The LORD is the eternal God, Creator of the earth.

He never gets weary or tired; his wisdom cannot be measured.

The LORD gives strength to those who are weary.

Even young people get tired, then stumble and fall.

But those who trust the LORD will find new strength.

They will be strong like eagles soaring upward on wings;

they will walk and run without getting tired.

Isaiah 40:1, 28-31

Have you ever wondered why there are so many different translations to the Bible? Well, it is because the original transcripts were written in Hebrew and Greek and can be translated as different as you and I speak today, depending on how you interpret the text you are reading. For instance, in verse 31 here the Hebrew word used here for “trust” actually is translated maybe in your Bible as “those who hope in the Lord” or “those who wait for the Lord” or as we read here, “those who trust in the Lord”. In the English, “trust”, “hope”, “wait” seem to be very different synonyms. We would think these scholars could come up with something better. But actually, there’s a really cool reason behind it. The Hebrew word here is a picture word, one used as if to illustrate a thief or robber lurking in the shadows in anticipation. In that context now hear the Lord say to you…

" But those who trust the LORD will find new strength..." (NLV)

" But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." (KJV)

" But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength
They will soar on wings like eagles
They will run and not grow weary
They will walk and not be faint." (NIV)

You see, that’s what happened yesterday in the doctor’s office! I’m 34 years old and was so physically weak that I could not hold my head up, but let an injustice happen in the presence of an ambassador of God’s kingdom and they will mount up with wings like eagles in an instant! The spirit of God literally leaped in me. I was literally living the scripture, " His strength is made perfect in my weakness". So I may be down for now, but I have hope! My hope is God alone, that He will do what He has promised. He is faithful! I just have to go with what His Word is to me. I know My Shepherd’s voice.

Then the Lord said to me,

“Write my answer plainly on tablets,

so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.

This vision is for a future time.

It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.

If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,

for it will surely take place.

It will not be delayed. Habakkuk 2:2-3

The same is for you. You know your Shepherds voice, if not, get to know it. Get alone with Him. Quiet your soul. Let him still your spirit and whisper in your ear. He will tell you of things to come and of His love for you. Hold on to that. That is where your peace lies. You can rest in the shadow of His wings until He gives you yours to fly again! Whatever you’re going through, He’s got this. It might be bigger than you, but that’s the point.

Pray this prayer:

Jesus, I pray that You would be my strength when I am weak. I receive your peace. Quiet my soul. I want to learn Your voice and wait in anticipation for You and only You, everything else is just gravy. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Why the Shepherds?

2009-12-21T16:04:00.003-06:00

And there was the baby, lying in the manger. After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child.
All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished,
but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.
The shepherds went back to their flocks,
glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen.

It was just as the angel had told them. Luke 2:8-20

We begin our story today with a young couple in love. A young priest and a beautiful young woman fall madly in love and marry. The wedding was beautiful. They cannot wait to begin their new lives together. They cannot believe how God has blessed them with this life, life of Godliness, a fear and reverence of the Holy One, esteemed servants in the house of God. There is nothing they would rather than to raise a child in the admonition of the Lord, to teach him in the ways of the one true God. Her whole life, this is what she had wanted. She imagined in her mind what it would be like. As a teenager, she pretended by swaddling bundles of clothes in her arms like she’d seen her mother do with her siblings. And this was it. This was her time! Excitedly Elizabeth and Zechariah begin to try. Yet, their hearts are broken. “That’s ok, it’ll happen next month,” he reassures her, only month after month, leads to year after year, and still no baby. It is all they seem to think about. It shakes their faith at times. They don’t mean for it too. They push past it, and try again, only…to fail. The clock is ticking. She hears the whispers from the others. She wants to be excited for her friends and families as they celebrate their new arrivals, but inside she wanders what they’ve done wrong. “Why, God? Why not us? Why them? We serve in your house faithfully everyday. I don’t understand. I guess it’s not meant to be. Now it’s too late.” That is where we pick up the first part of our story…

“Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous in God’s eyes, careful to obey all of the Lord’s commandments and regulations. They had no children because Elizabeth was unable to conceive, and they were both very old.

One day Zechariah was serving God in the Temple, for his order was on duty that week…While Zechariah was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the incense altar. Zechariah was shaken and overwhelmed with fear when he saw him.

But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John. You will have great joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great in the eyes of the Lord. He must never touch wine or other alcoholic drinks. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even before his birth. And he will turn many Israelites to the Lord their God. He will be a man with the spirit and power of Elijah. He will prepare the people for the coming of the Lord. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and he will cause those who are rebellious to accept the wisdom of the godly.”…

Soon afterward his wife, Elizabeth, became pregnant and went into seclusion for five months. “How kind the Lord is!” she exclaimed. “He has taken away my disgrace of having no children.”

Now let’s pick up the story of another young couple in love. They had just been betrothed and were getting to know one another. Joseph was a good man and Mary was a simple young girl, both had their whole lives in front of them, full of dreams and plans, all righteous and good, done by book…you know first comes love, then comes marriage, THEN comes baby in a baby carriage!

“In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King David. Gabriel appeared to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you!”

Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean. (I love that part---God tells her she is a favored woman and the Lord is with her and she is confused and disturbed! That’s hilarious!)

“Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her, “for you have found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be very great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David. And he will reign over Israel forever; his Kingdom will never end!”

Mary asked the angel, “But how can this happen? I am a virgin.”

The angel replied, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. What’s more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she’s now in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.

So you have one old lady who has waited her whole life finally thinking she would never have a child, now in her sixth month of pregnancy and a 14 or 15 year old engaged virgin. One baby was to be born filled with the Holy Spirit from birth. One who is the Son of God who would bring new birth to all and change the face of eternity. Not only that, but because Mary was pregnant with the Promised Seed, not only would these ladies be the carriers of promise, but those would come into contact with the promise would too will be filled with the Holy Spirit. Check this out…

“A few days later Mary hurried to the hill country of Judea, to the town where Zechariah lived. She entered the house and greeted Elizabeth. At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit…Then his father, Zechariah, was filled with the Holy Spirit”

But God wasn’t stopping there!

That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in highest heaven,

and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.

Can you imagine the thoughts that went through Mary’s mind as she rocked her baby boy to sleep, as she fed him, as she saw him smile for the first time, as she watched him take his first steps? I wonder what his first words were, “dada”, perhaps? I wonder if she could grasp the reality of the Son of God grasping her fingers and kissing her cheeks?

So with all the fuss over Mary and Elizabeth, Joseph and Zechariah, why the shepherds? Why does God share this intimate moment with total strangers, stinky shepherds, who had no clue of the magnitude of the glory to which they were about to embark upon? It’s the only time in the Bible we hear about these shepherds. They didn’t become disciples. They didn’t let this moment change their destiny and go out and change the world by quitting their job and becoming missionaries. They went back to tending sheep. The only difference it made is that they did their job praising God. But is that enough to share the most important moment of time with? God thought so. But I think it was more than that. It was more about who they were. He wanted Mary to meet who her Son would become. He would not become a carpenter like His earthly father, Joseph. Yes, he would do this for a time, but that was not WHO he was. I think that is what she was pondering in her heart. I think the Holy Spirit that had filled her heart was whispering to her of things to come…

“I will give you a shepherd from the family of my servant King David.

All of you, both strong and weak, will have the same shepherd, and he will take good care of you.

He will be your leader, and I will be your God. I, the LORD, have spoken.” Ezekiel 34:23-24

“He will feed his flock like a shepherd.

He will carry the lambs in his arms,

holding them close to his heart.

He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.” Isaiah 40:11

“I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep, and they know me. Just as the Father knows me, I know the Father, and I give up my life for my sheep. I have other sheep that are not in this sheep pen.

I must bring them together too, when they hear my voice.

Then there will be one flock of sheep and one shepherd.” John 10:14-16

You see, when I see a bunch of sheep, that is just what I see, a bunch. But a shepherd, he sees each one, knows each one by name. He was there when each one was born, picked out their name, knows how this one’s ear might fall a little to the left and how that one limps a little to the right. He knows that little Suzie has a freckle on her tummy and that little Timmy has a spot that he’s been nursing for a while. A good shepherd knows his sheep. We all know that about our God, how He is our Shepherd, but what can we learn from Him and what does He want from us?

I remember when my kids were old enough to really understand what Christmas was all about, they just could not understand why it was that if Christmas was Jesus’ birthday, then why was everybody else getting presents except Jesus? Let’s take a lesson from a child this week. After all, Jesus said, the kingdom belongs to children such as these and that if we want to receive the kingdom of God we need to come with faith like a child. Let’s get the magic of Christmas back! Let’s give what He wants for His birthday…

This was the third time that Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from death. When Jesus and his disciples had finished eating, he asked, " Simon son of John, do you love me more than the others do?"

Simon Peter answered, " Yes, Lord, you know I do!"

" Then feed my lambs," Jesus said.

Jesus asked a second time, " Simon son of John, do you love me?"

Peter answered, " Yes, Lord, you know I love you!" " " Then take care of my sheep," Jesus told him.

Jesus asked a third time, " Simon son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was hurt because Jesus had asked him three times if he loved him.
So he told Jesus, " Lord, you know everything. You know I love you."

Jesus replied, " Feed my sheep” John 21:14-17

1 Peter 5:4 “And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.”

You don’t have to be ordained as a pastor in a church to be a shepherd, you just have to take notice of those God has placed around you. Take the time to take notice and care for His sheep, like they were your own. God will take care of you.

" The Lord is my Shepherd. I have all that I need." Psalms 23:1

Deservation for four please...

2009-12-16T10:20:00.000-06:00

Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper

and be in good health,

just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

Earlier this week, I heard God ask me a very simple question, “Do you deserve it?” I knew immediately that He was asking me if I deserved financial prosperity, but didn’t understand why He was asking. It really wasn’t on my mind at the time. Sure, we have our financial problems lately, especially with all the medical stuff going on right at Christmas time, but I really wasn’t worried about it…I thought. But God knows my heart better than I do, so I just started listening. He started showing me how bashful and reserved I am when it comes to asking for Him for blessing on our finances because I really do believe that when it all boils down to it, we brought this on ourselves. There are so many choices along the way that we could have been wiser. In fact, for every “well, that’s not our fault” moments, we have so many “fault” moments that make up for it, I just can’t bring myself to feel worthy enough to ask God to bless us out of this mess that I think we’ve caused. I always just feel like there are so many other people in worse situations. I think, “I have so much to be thankful for, why bother God asking for myself when there are so many other people who need it that I need to be asking for?” (like my little bitty budget is going to put God in a financial depression-haha)?

Then God reminded me of this verse in 3 John 1:2, “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.” God immediately spoke to my heart and told me that it’s all the same, salvation, health, prosperity….it’s all under His grace. It’s a total package deal! We actually don’t deserve a lick of it! I need Him to step in just as much in my finances and save me just like He did with my sin! Just like I tried for years to “act right” or “be a Christian” and always failed miserably, it wasn’t until I gave in to grace and fell into the arms of love and let Him do in me what I could not do for myself that I actually started bearing fruit that lasted (and that fruit is feeding others-I might add). Why am I not doing this in my finances? Why am I separating my money and my soul? This verse shows that His will is that in ALL respects He wills for us to PROSPER-just as our soul prospers. Why haven’t I gotten this before? Ugggghh!

So let’s take this scenario and play it out with the next part of the verse, our health. What if we went into the emergency room because we were having a heart attack and they “concluded” that because of lack of exercise and poor diet you had brought this on yourself and refused treatment? You would be infuriated! You would demand your right to live and that they give you the treatment that you deserve! Why is then that when it comes to losing weight, struggling with addiction, or other things that we aren’t demanding by the blood of Jesus that we prosper and be in health, even as our soul prospers? Why aren’t we demanding that we receive the same right to grace of from ourselves? Do we think that we will somehow justify ourselves enough to God and be able to pay him back by beating ourselves up or trying REALLY hard this time to do it in our own strength? That’s actually sin in and of itself. To willfully to something apart from God, is to put ourselves higher than God or to think ourselves as an idol. You can’t justify yourself, just read the Old Testament. We need a Savior, the Lamb of God to take away the sin of the world! He died once for all of our sin, past, present AND FUTURE! It is so crazy as Christians that we can be ok with the fact that our sin before we got saved is “under the blood” and “whiter than snow” but somehow have such a hard time thinking the same thing of the sin that we commit this side of the cross. But seems to me, to Jesus, all that sin was future to Him. So it’s all under the blood. Romans 3:23-24 says, “All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. But God treats us much better than we deserve, and because of Christ Jesus, he freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins”.

And Romans 5:1-11 says Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

You see, the longer you “punish yourself” you are willfully living in bondage and not allow the grace of God to fill your life and receive the mercy of God, you are refusing the most expensive gift God has ever paid for you. It is this kindness of God that leads you to a repentance that will cause you never to go back and produce fruit that lasts. It is His Spirit that gives you power that changes you and gives you grace to live a life that changes you from the inside out into someone you can’t even believe you’ve become! Will you mess up again? Certainly. But this is how we “work out our salvation with fear and trembling” with such awe and respect for such an amazing Savior who is full of grace, running to Him everyday for strength and asking Him to fill us with His spirit in EVERY way.

When I was pregnant with Kaylee Grace, God told me her name was to be Grace. I put Kaylee in front of it to name her after my sister Katie and because it means, “pure”. I wanted her to know “pure grace”. My point was I don’t want her to have to go through all the sin and turmoil I went through to learn the grace I’ve had to learn. Throughout the years when people ask me what her name means and I tell them, they laugh. They say it is an oxymoron. They say you can’t know grace without experiencing it. I agree. But there are so many levels to grace. I want her to know grace on a “holy notha’ level” and then rise up her generation to follow hard after the God of Grace with such a passion that they don’t have to fall out of grace because they are teenagers and it’s what they are supposed to do to know the true grace of God. Want that for your life and the life of those around you as well! Let’s begin to seek the new face of grace! Look at some of the definitions that I found when I looked up grace in light of what God has been showing me this week! They’re so exciting!

Grace…

1) Unmerited, undeserved divine assistance given to humans for their renewal, restoration, regeneration or sanctification

2) Approval, favor

3) To receive mercy or a pardon

4) Special favor: privilege

5) Disposition of attitude, an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

6) A temporary exemption, reprieve

7) A charming or attractive trait or characteristic, a pleasing appearance or effect, charm, ease and suppleness of movement or bearing

8) Used as a title of address or reference for a duke, a duchess, or an archbishop

9) Sense of propriety or right

10) The quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful

I love that! Ok so I could go off here and preach forever on that! It’s when we know His grace that we (1) are renewed, restored, sanctified to be able to live a life of grace. What is a life of grace? Look at number 7 & 8, the bible says that those who have been given much grace, give much grace. The more grace you know, the more you exude. You have been given the right to be called children of God! That’s who we are! We are not the fumbling idiots that can’t seem to walk two feet without breaking every priceless antique in the castle! We are royalty, high priests and priestesses! Princes and princesses! There is no need to fear the punishment of our sin. Jesus already paid that debt. You want to know how you can repay Him? Relationship with Him. That’s all He desires. It’s how you treat Him.

I don’t know why people get so nervous when someone starts teaching on true grace. I think they are afraid that if people know that God’s grace covers all our sin and His blessing and favor rest on us in spite of ourselves, then it will give us license to act like little brats. But oh….I believe God is ushering us into a new era of grace. One that is divine and full of favor, full of His kindness and forbearance, leading us to true repentance, where we will run to Him, not from Him in sin and shame. The only way we’ll go near sin is when we see someone in danger of falling in it and run with grace to rescue those who are in danger cuz ain’t scared! I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of my regret, my shame, my defeat in every area of my life keeping me from my rightful place! No I don’t deserve the blessing, I don’t deserve the forgiveness, I don’t deserve the favor, but I’m going to receive it, He’s already paid the bill. My not taking it and living like this is just stupid. It’s like not cashing a 100 billion dollar check! That’s what God has done here. He has given us everything in life + godliness.

I’m going to stop separating my finances, health and any other area of my life apart from the same salvation Jesus freely gave me over my sin. I’m going to depend on Him and call out to him for salvation in my health and in my finances just like I do in my sin. So join me, will you? Go ahead. What is your need? What are having a hard time receiving grace for? What don’t you think you deserve? Make your “deservation” for you, your family and your friends, for your generation and for the generation to come today! Your name is already in the book. He’s been expecting you. Let’s forgive ourselves, ask and receive, seek and find, knock and let those doors be open to us. He’ll be so proud of you. He’s been eagerly waiting for you to ask. There’s nothing more that gives Him pleasure than to do good for you. Humanity is waiting for us to receive the grace that is freely been given so that we can give. Read the following two Psalms and let them be encouragement to you as you pray this week and begin to receive the full measure of the grace of God and divine favor over every area of your life!

Psalm 30

I will exalt you, O LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths

and did not let my enemies gloat over me.

O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

O LORD, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit.

Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name.

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;

weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken."

O LORD, when you favored me, you made my mountain stand firm;

but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.

To you, O LORD, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy:

"What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit?

Will the dust praise you? Will it proclaim your faithfulness?

Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me; O LORD, be my help."

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

Psalms 103

With all my heart I praise the LORD and with all that I am I praise his holy name!

With all my heart I praise the LORD! I will never forget how kind he has been.

The LORD forgives our sins, heals us when we are sick, and protects us from death.

His kindness and love are a crown on our heads.

Each day that we live, he provides for our needs and gives us the strength of a young eagle.

For all who are mistreated, the LORD brings justice.

He taught his Law to Moses and showed all Israel what he could do.

The LORD is merciful! He is kind and patient, and his love never fails.

The LORD won't always be angry and point out our sins; he doesn't punish us as our sins deserve.

How great is God's love for all who worship him? Greater than the distance between heaven and earth!

How far has the LORD taken our sins from us?

Farther than the distance from east to west!

Just as parents are kind to their children, the LORD is kind to all who worship him,

because he knows we are made of dust.We humans are like grass or wild flowers that quickly bloom.

But a scorching wind blows, and they quickly wither to be forever forgotten.

The LORD is always kind to those who worship him, and he keeps his promises

to their descendants who faithfully obey him.

God has set up his kingdom in heaven, and he rules the whole creation.

All of you mighty angels, who obey God's commands, come and praise your LORD!

All of you thousands who serve and obey God,

come and praise your LORD!

All of God's creation and all that he rules,

come and praise your LORD!

With all my heart I praise the LORD!

Pray this prayer:

Lord Jesus, I repent for the areas of my life that I have kept from you. I have kept these things trying to work out my own salvation in them only to fail miserably. I can’t do this without you and frankly, I don’t want to. Please take this mess I’ve made and save me! Bless me, Lord. Have mercy on me. I receive your grace and mercy over every area of my life today and rejoice in You and how much You love me. I give myself totally to You. I take my rightful place with You now, not because of my own works, but because You became sin for me. Bear fruit that will last in me now. Thank you for taking this burden from me. I am excited about the new life I now have in you and the ways that you will be able to feed others from the abundance that is provided through your provision. I love you. In Jesus name, Amen.